Embracing All Aspects of Life
by Arishia-chan
Summary: fourth fic in 'After Faded Light'. A few months have passed; change will begin with news that shakes both Daini and Kit, and ends with a loss that will shock them all. But no matter what, they know they will have no choice but to embrace it.
1. embracing circumstance

After Faded Light Sequel Fic:

  


Embracing All Aspects (Of Life)

  


Arishia's Notes: First of all, many thanks to those who have supported this fic and thanks to Emchay-chan for beta-reading this. Any mistakes are my fault. ^^

  


Secondly, this is the fourth fic in the 'After Faded Light' YYH epic. ::sigh:: I planned on this one being the last, but another, fifth, fic is already forming in my mind. ^^ 

  


Just so you know, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho, nor any of its characters. Daini, Kit, Hiyaku, and some others were created by me. There's shounen-ai and het ahead, so beware. ^^

  


Chapter 1: Embracing Circumstance

  


I would rather have a man who needs money

than money that needs a man

–Giovanni Boccaccio, _The Decameron_

  


***

  


"Alright class, that's all for today. Be sure to pick up your homework and don't forget our first exam on Friday over chapters one through four. Dismissed."

  


Daini sighed and closed her notebook. "Just what I need."

  


"It won't be too bad," Nakame said as they gathered their belongings. The other students were filing out of the room, all eager to leave the late afternoon class.

  


"It's _Algebra_. Of course it'll be bad." Daini shouldered her heavy bookbag and flipped black bangs from her eyes. "I guess I'm lucky I even got into this summer class after being dropped from all the others."

  


Two months had nearly passed since the Ningenkai's awakening and things seemed to be calming down. Kurama, Hiei, Kit, Daini, and even little Hiyaku could not venture outside without being recognized, but the reporters crowding their porch had died down. Riots still sprung up, sparked by arguments from ignorant humans; the police settled most peacefully. All in all the events of months ago had finally ended, and Daini and the others were left to recuperate. Returning to a normal life was not as easy as it sounded.

  


"Niitoku," her professor called. "I need to see you a moment."

  


"Wait for me?" Daini asked Nakame, who nodded. She walked over to the front desk. "Yes, sir?"

  


The professor folded his hands sternly. "Niitoku, you have been able to keep up with your studies, I noticed."

  


"I've been trying really hard."

  


He cleared his throat. "You do realize that your registration for this summer term was very late and it was only because you came and talked to me that I let you in." He paused and produced a large pin-up of Kurama, and his tone turned pleading. "My granddaughter's birthday is coming up. Would you _please _ask that redheaded friend of yours to sign this?"

  


Daini rubbed her temple in a calming motion. _Kurama's going to kill me._

  


"Uh, Daini-chan," Nakame called from the door.

  


Daini turned and looked over at her. A small, two-foot-tall youko stood there, shifting from one foot to the other, blue eyes flickering around him nervously. "Hiyaku-chan! What are you doing here?" She glanced at the professor but he merely stared wide-eyed.

  


"Don't blame me," Hiyaku whimpered. "Ya told me never to come unless there was an emergency."

  


"Aaand?" She drew the syllable out.

  


"And Kit-tousan is waiting for you. He said you're late. He was a bit angry," he added.

  


"Late?" Daini echoed. She looked down at her watch and let out a loud screech. "I'm LATE!" Snatching up her bookbag, she dipped a quick bow to the professor and scooped up the little cub. "I'll ask about the autograph, Sensei. Nakame, see you on Friday!" And they were gone.

  


Hiyaku dug his fingers into her arm and hung on as she ran. "I can't _believe_ I totally forgot about Kit's interview," she huffed. "So he's mad?"

  


"Oh yeah."

  


Daini winced. The couple was broke, with Daini in school and Kit unemployed. They had imposed on Kurama and Hiei for long enough, but moving out meant money they did not have. Kit had fought hard for this interview, a desk job at one of the local companies. The manager did not even want to meet with the youko at first.

  


_I hope I haven't messed this up._ Kit had asked her to come and support him; she knew he was still uncomfortable talking directly to humans, no matter that he had spent over twenty years as one of them.

  


Daini and Hiyaku crowded onto a bus. Going on foot would only make them even more late.

  


"They're staring," Hiyaku pointed out, uneasily eyeing the ningens packed tightly together.

  


"I know, sweets," Daini sighed. "But we don't have any choice. I can't run as fast as you."

  


Understanding her logic, he quieted and buried his face against her neck. No one said anything to them, though the whispers were loud enough. Finally, they reached their stop. The skyscraper loomed above them and Daini rushed inside, going directly to the front desk.

  


"Excuse me," she said, catching her breath. "Where are the interviews given?"

  


The secretary did a double-take, staring at them both. She lifted a finger and pointed to a small mass of people.

  


Daini thanked her. At first she thought the people were standing in line but they were all focused on something – someone – over by the wall. Kit sat on a bench, arms folded across his chest, jaw set and face blank. He was wearing normal human clothes, black slacks and shoes and a gray button-down shirt.

  


Hiyaku slipped from her grasp and darted past ankles to reach Kit while Daini squeezed through the people. Kit focused hard golden eyes on her and opened his arms to scoop up the cub.

  


"What happened?" she asked.

  


"He refused to see me," was the low reply.

  


_Oh Kit . . ._

  


He stood, the sudden motion causing the crowd to back away. "Come, let us go." Without waiting for her answer, he calmly walked toward the exist, ignoring the humans that scrambled out of his path. Daini silently followed.

  


_I was too late,_ she thought sullenly. _I should have left right after class. Kit, I'm sorry._

  


Kit glanced behind them. They were being trailed by several curious onlookers and many cars screeched to a halt in order to openly gawk. The youko stopped and took Daini by the waist, Hiyaku tucked up near his shoulder. Daini squeezed her eyes shut and felt the wind stirring her hair. When she opened them again, Kit had alighted by the edge of the woods near the apartment. And then he just stood there, not looking at their of them, his back a straight line.

  


Daini lifted the cub off his shoulder. "Sweets, you go on ahead and let us talk, okay?"

  


"'Kay." He leapt to the ground, transforming into his kitsune form and racing off. She watched him leave and smiled slightly. The little one was growing so fast like the weeds he could control. Kit had told her that Hiyaku would appear to be a teenager by the time he was ten, although youkai usually took centuries to completely surpass adolescence.

  


"That was not necessary," Kit informed her.

  


"Hiyaku may be very smart, but he is still a child." Daini's smile faltered. "I don't want to fight about him."

  


"Neither do I."

  


"I shouldn't have been late."

  


He turned and finally met her eyes with his own sullen golden gaze. "It would not have mattered."

  


"Kit . .." she murmured, and he stepped from her reach.

  


"That ningen would not hire me," he said bitterly, "just as the other four refused as well. The Ningenkai may be awakened, but it still remains ignorant."

  


"Give it time," she tried to coax.

  


His tone was fierce, eyes weary and shoulders tense. "How much more? Another month? A full year, perhaps? Or shall I wait a century until every ningen who witnessed that day has died?" He winced at her shocked face and let his anger fade. "I grow tired, Daini, of living like this. We freeload on Kurama's sparse income as well as invade his home. Hiei often refuses to come inside until we go to bed. Last week Hiyaku was chased by six ningen boys with sticks and lighters."

  


"What?" Daini hissed. "He didn't say anything to me about that."

  


"He does not want to worry you. But he needs freedom; he is a youko and a youko must live among nature." He waved a long-nailed hand at the trees which had shed their blossoms over a month ago. "He is afraid to even venture out here alone."

  


"So bringing him with us was a mistake?"

  


"No."

  


_Then why are you hinting that it is? Maybe it's your own restlessness, Kit. Maybe you're the one who needs freedom . . ._ A lump formed in her throat and she turned away. "I just wish things would be okay," she whispered.

  


Strong, smooth arms came firmly around her and crossed over her chest, fingers entwining with hers. "So do I," he murmured near her ear, warm breath fanning her skin. "And they will be, eventually, they will."

  


"Years from now," she huffed.

  


He kissed the juncture of her neck and shoulder. "I spoke out of anger. Ningens adapt well."

  


"You're just saying that."

  


"Daini . . ." His sigh tickled her.

  


"I know, I know," she said apologetically. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. Kurama's probably wondering where we are, so you go on ahead. I want to stay here a little longer.

  


He did not protest and squeezed her gently before vanishing through the woods.

  


Daini hugged herself. Yes, Kit was restless. Kit was a youko, wild and free, a creature of Makai. He did not belong here just as she did not belong there.

  


She snorted, the image of a bird and a fish coming to mind. A spirit and a ningen may love each other, but where would they live?

  


Anywhere they could breathe . . .

  


***

  


Kurama inwardly breathed a sigh, closing his briefcase with a click. He secretly detested the days he had to work late evenings, such as today, when someone called in sick and as nice Minamino Shuiichi he couldn't say no to covering the extra hours. Besides, he reasoned, he could use the overtime. His somewhat meager earnings were already barely enough to feed five rather hungry mouths– Kit and Hiyaku alone ate more than their share.

  


He waved goodbye to his co-workers and thankfully clocked out. He had more things to do at home too; start dinner for the group (Daini-chan knew a little about cooking and helped when she could, as did Kit), pay some bills (those that could not wait), and do some more work (he swore the boss piled more papers on him than during actual office hours).

  


He sighed again and walked outside. The streets were mostly deserted, a few cabs, a few hand-in-hand couples, a few late employees like himself. The evening was late, but not too dim, and a breeze cooled the humid summer air. He only lived ten minutes away by train and tonight was nice for a stroll. Kurama had not traveled across the city roofs since long ago.

  


A small smile touched his lips. Glancing around as he ducked into an alley, he gripped his briefcase and effortlessly leapt straight upward, his powerful legs carrying him atop the building. From there he bounded roof to roof, each stories higher than the last, until he reached a comfortable height.

  


He unbuttoned and loosened his collar. The breeze was cooler up here and fuller and Kurama tossed back his head, relishing the caressing feel. It had really been too long since he last experienced this.

  


A presence flickered behind him, a little sudden yet not demanding any immediate attention. Kurama let his lips curve upward and closed his eyes. The other watched him, he knew, and he wondered how long the intruder could keep silent.

  


"Won't the ningens see you?"

  


Apparently, not too long, not tonight.

  


Kurama shook out his long scarlet tresses; the silky mass nearly reached past his waist now since he had not the heart to cut them. "I don't care if they do," he replied. "They know who I am, what I am, what I was. It's been three months. I'd think by now they would've gotten past the shock." He shrugged thin shoulders, slightly amused. "At least, the shock of seeing me. I heard on the radio earlier that Kit caused another traffic jam. Any seven-foot-tall, fuzzy-eared youko walking down main street are another instance altogether." He turned and faced the black-clad figure. "Or any three-eyed youkai, for that matter."

  


Hiei snorted, crossing his arms. "Unlike you, I travel faster than ningen sight."

  


"Ah, yes." Kurama returned to watching the city below. Hiei had been following him since he left the office, and Kurama had stopped merely to let Hiei know that the demon's presence had been detected. They played this game with each other often, a physical and mental battle. One ran, the other followed; both had the same understanding that neither would ever break the chase.

  


Not that Kurama never considered it. Hiei possessed a knack for getting under Kurama's skin and infuriating the redhead. Such as the first and only time Hiei had ever threatened Shiori, saying every ningen deserved an early death.

  


Of course Hiei had made that particular snide comment many years ago, back before any Tournaments, back before Yuusuke, back before Hiei even mentioned his plan to steal the three Reikai treasures. Kurama had almost lost it then, images of Shiori being run through in his mind. No one had ever threatened his ningen mother like that.

  


A light touch on his arm brought Kurama back to the present. He looked down at twin ruby eyes, blank except for an underlying layer of concern . . . and something else . . . something Kurama doubted Hiei knew he felt . . .

  


That day, that day Hiei said such words, Kurama had felt a pain he had not yet experienced, a rush of instability that Shiori could be taken from him any day, would be taken, would die within a single century. His face must have betrayed his feelings because Hiei had taken a few steps away, turned, and fled. Weeks later he saw Hiei again and the youkai said nothing at first, merely staring at Kurama. He'd had no concern back then in those scarlet depths, no . . . something else . . . but there was apology and tolerance, and Kurama gave him the same. Years passed, and when Kurama stated that he wanted to use the Mirror of Utter Darkness to save Shiori as payment for aiding Hiei's plan, Hiei had no complaint.

  


"Kurama."

  


"Hmm?" He blinked and released a small smile. "Just thinking."

  


Hiei did not ask and Kurama supposed he really did not care. _I would have had to ask 'about what?'_

  


Instead, Hiei snorted and looked away. "So the clone was not hired."

  


"Unfortunately, he didn't get the job. What's it – the forth try? Yare yare. Maybe he'll be successful the next time."

  


"Or the next, or the next, or perhaps he will live off your resources for as long as you allow him."

  


Kurama tucked his briefcase under an arm. "I suppose." He used his other arm to loop around Hiei's slim waist and tug him closer. He bent over and pressed his nose to the youkai's, red and black bangs brushing together, forcing the shorter of them to lean backwards and rely on Kurama's arm for support.

  


"Kurama," Hiei hissed warningly.

  


"How long have _you_ lived on my resources?" Kurama countered smoothly. Their breath mingled, a near kiss but not quite, nearly touching but still separate. "Three years? Four? Or maybe six? I tend to lose track of time." He lightly, teasingly, pressed his lips against Hiei's, smiling when the other relaxed. "Ne, Hiei?" he whispered. "How long?"

  


"Four years, nine months, and two days," Hiei breathed. "Or three days."

  


"Thought you might remember better than me." After one more caress of lips, he let the youkai straighten, though Hiei could have freed himself fairly easily. "Well," he said casually, running a free hand through silky hair. "Ready to go home and get something to eat?"

  


Hiei put distance between them. "Not hungry," he grunted and vanished into the darkening air.

  


The ningen-youko remained fixed on where Hiei had stood, until he too slipped from the roof. Kurama headed toward the apartment, bounding rooftop to rooftop, alone.

  


***

  


High above, Hiei watched his mate leave. Yes, Kurama was his chosen mate and the not-so-romantic demon did not mind thinking such thoughts. But Kurama unnerved him more often than not, threw him off balance, disturbed his normal comfort zone.

  


He knew what had kept him from leaving the silly youko. Kurama's personality drew him near, the redhead's mischievous, wild nature, and endlessly changing attitude. And yet Kurama was reliable and trust-worthy. A fitting partner.

  


And more.

  


Hiei lifted a finger and touched his own lips. Damn fox. Something . . . something different kept them together.

  


A sting of a ningen's mind tapped his senses. Hiei rarely opened himself to anyone besides Kurama and a few others, and there were only two ningens that he cared to keep his youki in contact with . . . Shiori was in her house, her heartbeat steady and mind calm. The other ningen . . .

  


Hiei ripped away the cloth that bound his forehead. The girl was amidst the woods, and her wavelengths were scattered and panicked. Quickly finding her exact location, he flitted onward.

  


***

  


Daini stumbled a little and finally stopped to rest against a tree. Her feet felt so heavy already. The apartment couldn't be very far away, otherwise Kit would have refused to leave her there. But her pace had become slower and more faltering, her energy lowering drastically.

  


She wiped her brow, feeling hot even though the sun had almost fully set. _What's wrong with me?_ She had felt fine all that day and throughout the afternoon. _Except a little dizziness in the morning, but that's been going on for over a week now . . . I need to get back._ As soon as she stepped away from the tree, her vision swam and the surrounding blurred. She slid to her knees, fighting the sudden dizziness.

  


_Kit . . ._

  


There was a slight rustle as someone alighted on the grass behind her. Small, strong hands clasped her shoulders and lifted her to her feet. She tried to focus. "H- Hiei?"

  


"How long have you known about this?"

  


"How long have I . . ." She frowned at his question. "Known? What?" She attempted to stand on her own and almost collapsed. Before she could protest, his arms moved under her shoulders and knees and lifted her. "Hiei . . . what–"

  


"Quiet," he ordered, though his tone was somewhat soft. "Close your eyes."

  


She did without arguing, feeling the rush of wind around them as he carried her through the forest.

  


***

  


"Still, you can't keep blaming yourself."

  


Kit picked at a string on his gray shirt. "I doubt any ningen would choose a youko without work experience over a ningen freshly graduated from a university."

  


Kurama poured them both a cup of tea, and sat across from his counterpart. "You're right, of course. But very few ningens have been put in that situation." Kit snorted, averting his gaze to the brown liquid, and Kurama sighed. "They may only need more adjusting."

  


"Daini also said as much," the youko grumbled. "She insists I be patient."

  


The redhead swallowed a chuckle. "We could all use a bit of patience nowadays, especially when dealing with ningens. They weren't exactly prepared for what was dumped on them."

  


"Neither were we."

  


"And they don't know how to handle it," Kurama continued. _Daini-chan has managed to find that balance we all seek between ningen and youkai . . . or at least she lets us believe she has._

  


"They ought to find a way to handle it soon," Kit muttered. "If I am ever able to live in the Ningenkai."

  


Kurama took a sip of his tea. "Shelta Waters called me at work today," he commented.

  


"And?" Fuzzy ears swivelled forward, more attentive.

  


"And she just wanted to see how we were. She's in the process of writing a book about us." He tried not to grin. "It's going to be a trilogy, 'The Memoirs of Shelta Waters, ABN Reporter.' She's calling the first part 'Born Again.'"

  


"I was not born," Kit said pointedly, scooting back his chair. He rose and walked to the window, pushing aside the curtain using the back of one hand.

  


"It does have a nice ring though, ne?" he mused. When the youko did not respond, Kurama craned his neck to peer up at him. "Kit?"

  


Kit's tail was bristled, hands clenched into tight fists, golden eyes narrowed and focused outside. "Daini . . ."

  


"What is it?" Kurama asked, a bit worried.

  


"She is . . ." He bolted from the window and rushed to the front door, reaching it just as Hiei appeared. Kurama quickly followed.

  


"I'm okay, I said!" Daini argued, struggling to get out of Hiei's arms.

  


Hiei finally let go when Kit took the girl and laid her carefully on the couch.

  


"Did something happen?" Kit demanded, gently holding her down. "Are you injured?"

  


"No, I'm fine," she reiterated. "Really."

  


"She was almost unconscious when I found her," Hiei told them, toeing off his shoes in the entryway.

  


"Just a small dizzy spell," she corrected.

  


"I disagree."

  


She pushed away Kit's hands and sat up. "Would you guys please listen? I'm probably just over-stressed or the summer heat is affecting me."

  


Kurama felt her forehead with cool fingers. "Have you experienced this before?"

  


"Yes," she said reluctantly. "For about a week now . . ."

  


Hiei stared at her intently. _Does she not?_ "Do you really not know the cause?"

  


She shook her head.

  


"Hiei," said Kit, voice stern. "What is wrong with her?"

  


"Wrong?" Hiei echoed, blinking his large round eyes. "I suppose it depends on your view." He turned his somewhat perplexed gaze on each of them before leveling it on Kit. "I assumed that you knew. You are her mate, are you not? Her condition should be obvious."

  


Kit gave him a blank look. "What is?"

  


The youkai took his time, folding his hands and shutting his eyes. When he opened them again, they fixed upon Daini. "Anyone possessing Sight can tell that she is with child."

  


Daini choked. "WHAT?!"

  


"Daini . . ." Kurama murmured, wide-eyed.

  


She buried her face in her palms. "That can't be! I'm _pregnant_? I can't be pregnant!"

  


Kurama kneeled beside the couch, resting a hand on her arm. "Keep calm, Daini-chan." He glanced at Kit but the youko's eyes were unfocused and his face was pale. "The worse thing we can do is panic."

  


"You don't understand," Daini whimpered. "I _can't_ be _pregnant_."

  


Kit stirred. "It is very possible."

  


Scarlet spread across her cheeks, both anger and embarrassment. "You . . ." she ground out. "_You're_ not human!"

  


"Oh?" A brow raised. "So now I am not human? If I remember correctly, you once stated that I was."

  


She shook her head fiercely. "I meant you had human emotions, not a human body. I am human, you are not, therefore I can_not_ be pregnant."

  


"There are two," Hiei said.

  


"Two what?"

  


"Two ways I know you are pregnant."

  


Her heart clenched. "And they are . . ."

  


He held up one finger. "One is male." He held up another. "One is female."

  


She fell backward. "Twins?" she groaned in disbelief. "Ack!"

  


Kurama patted her arm, trying to console the girl. "You haven't been taking any kind of birth control, have you?"

  


She sniffed. "I didn't think I needed it. I mean . . . how can we . . ."

  


"Human and demon inter-breeding is rare but not impossible," he told her gently. "The last recorded case was the coupling of Kagamusha Souhei's parents. And Yuusuke is part youkai as well. I'm sure if there were any major complications with having a hybrid child, you two would've been informed long ago."

  


"Or Koenma would have separated you," Hiei added. "As adamant as he is about protecting ningens."

  


"With child," Kit murmured.

  


Kurama glanced up at him and straightened to his feet. "Come, this should be good news," he tried, forcing a cheerful tone into his voice. He bent and lightly hugged the girl. "Congratulations, Daini-chan, and you too, Kit. We'll give you some time alone." This last he directed toward Hiei who shrugged indifferently and followed him upstairs. Hiyaku could be heard asking what was going on and Kurama shushed him, closing the bedroom door.

  


Kit eased himself on the couch beside Daini, bringing her legs up and over his lap so she could still recline. She remained silent and he did not volunteer to speak first; both remained staring at nothing in particular, Daini at her folded hands and Kit at a small crack in the paint above the television. Daini concentrated on taking in one breath and releasing the next, aware that Kit's thumb absently stroked her knee.

  


"Do you not . . . want them?" he finally asked softly, almost hesitantly.

  


She jerked up her head but he wasn't looking at her. "I thought . . ." She trailed off and struggled for the right words. _I thought that you didn't. I thought you would . . ._ "K-Kit . . . at first, with Hiyaku, you refused to see him as your son because . . . because he was different." _There, I said it. Please, Kit, catch on to what I mean . . ._

  


"I was a fool," he said in the same quiet tone. Then his eyes widened and he twisted to fix startled golden orbs upon her own fearful violet. "You thought–"

  


"They'll be hybrids," she whispered. "They won't like humans . . . or youko . . ."

  


He lunged forward and grasped her shoulders, careful not to put his full weight on her. "Of course not, Daini! But they are _ours_, _our_ offspring, the whelps of our union. I cannot disregard them any more than I can now disregard Hiyaku."

  


She shuddered beneath him. "I shouldn't have panicked the way I did. It's just so many things all at once . . . and I was afraid you . . ."

  


He scooted so they lay side by side, pressed together, and hushed her. "I will love them with all that I am," he pledged. "I will help you through these months and see them safely born."

  


"Twins," she breathed. "I never expected _twins._ Kit, I've got to go to a doctor, but who would know anything about our situation?"

  


"Leave it until tomorrow. Then we can make a few calls; Genkai must know of someone." Smoothing her hair, he tightened his embrace.

  


Children . . . and twins, at that. This new intervention in their lives was certainly unexpected and not at all what they had planned. What would happen in less than nine months? Would the births go smoothly?"

  


Daini pushed away those thoughts. Nine months was a long time and she still did not have many details about her pregnancy - how far along she already was, for one.

  


Timid footsteps padded down the stairs and into the living room. Hiyaku peeped around the wall, ears flattened against his skull, tail wrapped around his legs.

  


"Canna come in?"

  


Kurama appeared behind the cub, stopping him from going forward. "Sorry, he slipped past," he said apologetically.

  


"It's all right," Daini said. "Come on in, sweets."

  


"Hiei's gone again so I think I might turn in early," Kurama told them. "I'll be upstairs doing some work, so if you need anything, just call me."

  


"Okay."

  


Hiyaku slid closer. "You having a baby?" he asked quietly.

  


"Yes," she told him. "Two, actually. We're a bit surprised but we're looking forward to having them." She frowned when he flinched at her words. "Hiyaku–"

  


"Congratulations!" he blurted. "I mean, if it's good, then it makes you happy, right?"

  


She smiled and thanked him. Yes . . . children should make them happy . . .

  


Hiyaku fidgeted, shifting from one foot to the other and back again. "C-canna ask one more question?"

  


"Kid, make it quick," Kit said with a hint of a growl.

  


The cub moved his focus to his toes and muttered quite seriously, "Am I being replaced?"

  


The two on the couch shared a puzzled look, then both burst out with comforting laughs.

  


"My silly son," Daini said, gathering Hiyaku into their surrounding arms. "I promise you right now that absolutely no one could ever take your place."

  


Hiyaku buried his face against her chest, one hand wound tightly through Kit's silver hair, and he sighed.

  



	2. embracing inevitability

Chapter 2: Embracing Inevitability

  


"I wonder why my subconscious is harassing me," he said aloud.

–unknown

***

  


Sunlight warmed his face and gently nudged him awake. Kit's eye lids fluttered, gradually slit open, and he yawned, stretching his long limbs. Lazily rolling over, he lifted his lips in a small smile and touched Daini's cheek.

  


"Morning," he whispered as she roused from sleep. "I hope you–"

  


Daini's face contorted and she quickly sat up, throwing back the covers. She bolted into the bathroom, slamming the door, and presently retching sounds made their unpleasant way to Kit.

  


The youko rested an arm across his eyes and withheld a sigh. "–slept well," he finished to the empty room.

  


***

  


Kurama looked up from his coffee as Kit dragged himself into the kitchen. "Rough night?" he asked the disheveled youko.

  


"Rough morning," Kit corrected. He plunked on the chair beside Kurama and lifted a long-nailed hand to massage his temple. "She was sick again."

  


"Oh my." Green eyes narrowed a bit. "And you left her in there by herself?"

  


"She kicks me out whenever it happens. I would happily assist her if she let me, but she is determined to go through it alone."

  


"I doubt Daini wants to be alone," Kurama said. "Knowing her, she just doesn't want to be a burden."

  


Kit waved a dismissal hand. "Kurama, almost five months have passed since she and I met and she has yet to be a burden upon me. Being with child will not change that."

  


"Even so." He set aside his coffee and folded the paper he had been reading. "The tonic we made her before isn't working anymore. How about something stronger – say, a gleanam elixir? Doctor Toka that Genkai-san set you up with has the right ingredients, minus the gleanam of course." Kurama patted his red hair. "I carry around a few seeds of that myself."

  


Kit snorted. "As long as there are no major side-effects. The last potion disturbed her every night, which in turn disturbed my own."

  


"It won't," Kurama assured him, standing and going to the sink to wash his cup. "You must remember how to make it. Why don't you go get the right herbs from Doctor Toka? He's staying with Genkai-san until the twins are born."

  


Kit shook his head. "I should remain by Daini's side."

  


"I can watch her." Drying his hands, Kurama clasped his counterpart's shoulders. "You haven't been out of the apartment in weeks, Kit, and it's showing."

  


The youko studied the other's face. _He is trying to hide something from me . . . _"So where is Hiei?"

  


"H-Hiei," Kurama stammered, backing away as if burned. "He's . . . I don't know."

  


"Is he at the temple?"

  


"No." He turned his gaze to anywhere but the sharp golden eyes. "Maybe."

  


"Kurama," Kit warned.

  


"Dammit, Kit," the redhead bit out, rounding on him. Kit leaned back, surprised at the heat in the usually soft alto. "Don't make this more difficult for me."

  


"More . . ." _Difficult? What the hell?_ "Since when are you avoiding Hiei?"

  


"I'm not." Kurama wrapped his arms around himself. "He's been going to visit Yukina almost every day and . . . and I don't want to intrude on their time together."

  


_Avoiding._ "Ah, I see." _I see that you are saying one thing and thinking another._

  


"So you'll go?" Kurama asked hopefully.

  


"Yes," he relented, withholding a sigh.

  


"Go where?" Daini echoed. She came down the stairs, stepping gingerly, her face drained of color.

  


Kit stepped to help her sit at the table. "To Genkai's temple. Doctor Toka possesses some herbs that will help calm your morning sickness."

  


"Sounds good," she said, brightening. "Can I come with?"

  


The two kitsune exchanged a glance.

  


"It might be best if you stayed here," Kurama told her gently. "You're entering your second trimester, after all, and–"

  


"And I still have six months to go." She leveled a hard glare upon them. "I realize what you both are trying to do and I won't allow it. Kurama-kun, I can excuse you, but Kit–" a heavy scowl, "–_you_ ought to know better. I'm not an invalid just because I'm pregnant."

  


"Daini . . ." His voice rose to a near whine.

  


The girl ignored him and took her lightweight jacket off the coat rack. "Well?" she questioned sternly. "Are we going or not?"

  


"Going," Kit relented. He gave a nod at Kurama. "I suppose we can eat here?"

  


"Don't I always cook lunch on weekends?" Kurama countered. "I'll keep it warm for you."

  


"Thanks, Kurama-kun," Daini said, smiling. "We'll see you around lunch time." She and Kit left the apartment and as soon as they reached the forest, Kit scooped her up and headed toward Genkai's temple at a fast pace.

  


"I haven't seen her in forever," Daini commented quietly. "We should visit more often."

  


Kit made a noncommittal noise, focused straight ahead. Her arms were entwined round his neck, fingers tangled in his silver hair. She savored traveling with him like this, the wind battling her face, his solid presence firm and warm around her. They still had known each other for less than a year, but Daini found herself feeling more and more comfortable being near him.

  


She had changed, she realized. More than she ever thought she would. She supposed that's what being attached to a fox spirit, put on trial, and caught up in a multi-world war did to a person. She felt calmer than she used to be – yes, _calmer_, of all things – and less negative. Kurama had taught her to be more patient; Hiei had shown her how to be stronger; Hiyaku had brought out the accepting nature within her; and Kit . . .

  


She never thought she could love, not the intense, terrifying, beautiful love she felt now. Before the bottom fell out, the highlights of her days were the hours during which Nakame was in class and Daini was left alone in her own misery. She sank deeper and deeper into her feelings that things would always stay the same, that she would be trapped forever in the same mundane routine.

  


Then suddenly the mundane routine wasn't a routine anymore. Suddenly a creature entered her life by climbing through her dorm room window one night and knocking her from her comfort axis. It was all she had ever dreamed about; it was all she had ever feared.

  


Every night he came to her, demanding and harsh . . . and struggling to hold himself together as much as she was. She hadn't understood at all, and she hadn't understood why her feelings gradually began to warm toward him. Or when.

  


//"You can take what you need."

  


"I could never. Not to you, Daini, never to you."//

  


No, it hadn't been the first night they joined. She did not love him then, nor the second night just before the trial.

  


Daini blushed, drawing her thoughts away form that topic. Relations like those rarely drew out love from two people. _We did it backwards_, she mused. _We should've loved first._

  


The love came later, while she was trapped in a situation she could not control. Sometime during the trial, Kit had stolen her heart and kept it ever since.

  


After all, Daini was not the only one who had changed.

  


"Daini."

  


She looked up at the youko that carried her swiftly across the ground. His eyes were intent, glossy, and hesitant. She inwardly frowned. _Surely he's not . . ._

  


"You were far away," he said quietly.

  


She gave him a small smile. "Far away thoughts."

  


"Not too far, I hope."

  


"Not really." Snuggling against his chest, she secretly grinned when his arms tightened. "Kit, can I ask you a question?"

  


"If I can ask you one in return," he replied.

  


"Fair enough." She toyed with one strand of his silver hair and then smoothed it down his buttoned shirt. "I was wondering . . . when did you first love me?"

  


He stared at her a moment, deciphering her heavy inquiry. "When? I suppose the evening before the trial, when we were traveling to Genkai's temple much like we are now and I pulled you aside from the others."

  


"Why then?" she wondered, eyebrows raised.

  


His lips curved upward. "You were so flustered because of me and seeing you there, flushed after my attentions . . . I thought, I like her. But that did not seem right. Only later did I understand."

  


"Ah . . ." _I wasn't expecting that answer._ She coughed discreetly and hurriedly said, "So, what was your question?"

  


He shifted her in his arms, eyes jerking away from hers, his normal response whenever he became uncomfortable. "It does not matter."

  


"Of course it does," she insisted, nudging him with her elbow. "Go ahead and ask me."

  


After more hesitation, he finally replied, "Am I only making this worse for you? This . . . pregnancy?"

  


_Making it worse . . ._ "No, not at all," she stammered, caught off guard. "Why would you even think that?"

  


He glanced down at her, then back on their destination. "You do not like for me to help you, assist you in any way. A pregnancy is not something a ningen should go through alone."

  


"I know . . ." Daini stroked one of his arms, wordlessly showing him that he was not at fault. "I just don't want to be a burden."

  


_Point One for Kurama,_ the youko thought dryly.

  


"You are not," he told the girl, making his voice rough. "And you will not be. I am a part of this as well and I refuse to stand aside."

  


She buried her face against his chest, mainly to hide the smile that rose unbidden to her lips. "I'll try not to push you away as much," she reasoned. "If _you_ promise not to poke fun at me when I get fat."

  


His face was blank and then he sputtered and burst out a great laugh, hugging her close and kissing her hair. "A promise, then," he said humorously, and the twinkle was back in his golden gaze.

  


***

  


The man had waist-length black hair tied back at the nape, deep onyx eyes, pale skin that contrasted with both. His white trenchcoat caught in the breeze stirring up by passing cars, and flapped behind the man along his broad shoulders, revealing a white shirt stretched over tight muscles and starch white jeans.

  


If one concentrated hard enough – and many ningens stared at him as he walked past, though none actually_looked_ – one might've noticed that the man's trenchcoat seemed alive, swirling in the wind like an extra appendage. Of course, the man would have laughed _had_ anyone noticed and mentioned this, and then merely shrugged.

  


"Mister, watch out!"

  


The man, having strolled directly into incoming traffic, half turned to see a car careening toward him at an alarming speed. He calmly watched the vehicle, amused by the driver's panicked reaction, and simply leapt up and out of the way. Again, to anyone concentrating, his hair would have seemed to flash silver in the noonday sun. Then he soundlessly landed on the sidewalk, tucked his long-fingered hands into his front coat pockets, and continued his journey through the city.

  


To anyone concentrating, they would have noticed that the man minutely flared his nostrils every block or so, staying on a scent trail that lead him to wherever he was going.

  


To anyone who knew better, they would have seen the man for what he really was – not a man at all.

  


***

  


Kurama rather liked weekends, the only time of the week he had to himself. With Hiei, Kit, and Daini gone and Hiyaku still asleep upstairs, he was contented to sit on the couch with the television on mute and flip through a scientific magazine.

  


He felt the tremor on the edge of his aura before he sensed that someone had stepped onto his front porch. The fine hairs on his arms stood on end and he trembled without realizing what he was doing. He felt Hiyaku wake in a start and the cub's fear washed over him.

  


Someone knocked on the door, once, twice, three quick yet unhurried raps. Kurama slowly rose, the forgotten magazine sliding off his lap and to the floor. He took a few hesitant steps toward the entrance. _Who . . . who is . . ._ He heard Hiyaku come down the stairs, though the terrified child was being as quiet as he could.

  


"Hiyaku, stay back," Kurama murmured, holding out a hand.

  


The cub whimpered. "D-don't open the door."

  


"Stay back," he repeated.

  


As he cautiously approached the entryway, Kurama could make out through the blurry glass the shadow of a tall figure. "Yes?" he called. "Who is it?"

  


"Avon calling," came the response. A deep voice, a chipper tone.

  


Kurama was taken aback. _Is this a prank? Surely not . . ._ He grasped the knob and twisted it, opening the door. "I'm sorry," he began, "But I'm not–" The visitor turned around, a large smile revealing white teeth. "–interested . . ."

  


"About the Avon bit," the man dressed all in white said cheerfully. "I have always wanted to use that particular ningen phrase. But I assure you that I am not here to sell you cosmetics."

  


Hiyaku fell bonelessly to his knees, arms limp at his sides. His mouth moved but he could not form any words.

  


The tall being – so tall his head nearly brushed the door frame – leaned to look past Kurama. "The blue-eyed silver is finally speechless. Amazing." He focused back on Kurama and straightened. "Seems the both of you have lost your tongues. Very well." And with that he sidestepped Kurama and entered the living room.

  


Kurama swallowed heavily and suddenly came back to life. He scrambled after the black-haired person, scooping up the prone Hiyaku as he went, and halted before he came too close. "Inari–"

  


The god turned to look down at them. "So you _do_ know who I am. I thought perhaps this life had muddled your perceptions." He checked his reflection in a mirror hanging on the wall. "Although I make a fine ningen, this disguise is not perfectly adequate."

  


"You're . . . you're in the Ningenkai."

  


"How, you mean?" Kurama nodded. "I have decided to concern myself with the affairs of late and that Reikai godling could no more prevent me from entering the world of ningens than he could prevent my paying you a visit." He paused, midnight eyes sweeping over the small apartment. "The ningen girl is gone, is she not?"

  


"Yes," Kurama answered.

  


"Good." Inari helped himself to the couch, spread his arms across the back. "I am not one for breaking vows so she shall not ever see me here, though my purpose directly involves her."

  


Kurama stiffened, face paling. He also felt cold anger inside him. "Surely you did not journey here just for that."

  


"Surely I did," the god admonished, gaze narrowing. "I have. As soon as the other one of you arrives here, I can make my Choices."

  


_Kit._ The redhead set Hiyaku down, who was still completely scared, and roused him gently. "Go contact Kit," he instructed softly. "Tell him to come back here as soon as possible. Don't worry about the connection. It'll get through." He nudged the cub and Hiyaku ducked a low bow to Inari before racing upstairs.

  


"I made a fine Choice," Inari commented almost to himself. "When I colored him."

  


Kurama straightened, trying to keep his face blank. He could hide nothing from Inari, the deity that'd had a hand in creating Youko Kurama himself, but he would not give the god the satisfaction of punishing the youko for openly defying him. "That child," he said lowly, "has suffered much because of it."

  


"Of course," Inari replied as if he had known all along what would happen. "What if he had golden eyes? What then? The child would have considered himself a standard silver–"

  


"Silvers are hardly standard," Kurama said wryly under his breath.

  


"–the one born every 1500 years, and he might have grown up believing his god had created him only for service."

  


"Which his god did," the redhead muttered again.

  


Inari gave him an irritated look and Kurama promptly shut up. "As soon as he gained his second tail," Inari continued his hypothetical story, "he would have entered my inner circle and served me throughout the rest of his centuries." A wave of a long, thin hand. "And thus youkai would have invaded the Ningenkai and the world that you have adopted would cease to exist."

  


"That is a large speculation," Kurama said.

  


"It is the Truth, the ultimate Truth."

  


The ningen-youko shifted his feet and folded his arms over his chest. "If it is, then why did I not follow that path? If I remember correctly, I declined to enter your service."

  


"And I did not pursue you." Inari rose from the couch, bound black hair fraying behind him, and seemed to become a forbidding, inhuman thing. His eyes glittered. "Did I, young one?"

  


"No, you did not," Kurama agreed, refusing to take a step back. "But you also were not pleased with my choice."

  


"Should I have been?"

  


_I suppose not . . ._ The redhead shook himself and decided he did not like this topic. "Kit ought to be here soon. Would you like something to drink while you wait?"

  


Inari relaxed back on the couch. "Give me a cup of Ningenkai tea. It has been a few centuries since I tasted it."

  


Kurama nodded, bowing minutely, and escaped to the kitchen. _Kit, hurry up. And please have a cool head – you're going to need to keep your temper._

  


***

  


Yukina removed her hand from Daini's slightly rounded belly. "Both of your children are beautiful."

  


Daini looked at her, wide-eyed. "You can tell that already?"

  


"Yes," the Koorime said. She seemed to hesitate, then continued. "Their auras are very bright and colorful, and their physical characteristics should follow the same."

  


Daini absently rubbed her stomach. "Thank you," she murmured.

  


"You are welcome." Yukina turned her icy scarlet to the youko standing off to the side. "Congratulations, Kit-san."

  


He inclined his head. "It is good to know they are developing healthy ki. Toka may have experience with youkai, but he cannot sense such things."

  


The doctor raised his eyebrows. "My research hasn't stretched that far yet, I'm afraid."

  


"In other words," grunted Hiei, leaning against a wall. "He does not know anything about it."

  


"On the contrary," Toka responded. "I know about reiki and youki and the differences. I only cannot sense them nor have I developed or found a machine that can."

  


"You said your grandmother was a Spirit Detective, right?" Daini clarified. "And that's how you grew up knowing these things."

  


"Aa. My father's mother worked as a Reikai Tantei until she was killed. After her death, my father began shunning anything supernatural, including anything demonic." Toka took off his glasses and wiped the smudges with his handkerchief. "He wanted me to become a physician and I wanted to follow my grandmother's footsteps. So we compromised – I studied to be a doctor and researched the wordings of the Three Worlds on the side. Lucky, I guess, because I later realized that I had not inherited my grandmother's abilities."

  


Genkai focused on him. "But you did inherit her brightness." To the others, she said, "I've known this one since he was a boy, when his grandmother brought him to me. He has no detectable reiki, but his mind works quicker than any other doctor I know."

  


The man pushed the wire frames up the bridge of his nose. "You unnecessarily flatter me, Genkai-san. And anyway, I was glad when I received the phone call two months ago about a young lady pregnant with half-demon twins, and delighted when this lady happened to be the same one I had heard so much about. I am honored to treat you, Daini-san."

  


She waved a hand, blushing. "Thanks. I really appreciate it. Kit and I would be at a loss without you." The black-haired girl nudged the youko.

  


"As she says," he stated, catching her arm gently. "And–" He cut himself off, his back suddenly becoming a rigid line, his tail lifting and bristling wildly.

  


Daini, concerned, touched the hand still holding her arm. "What's wrong?"

  


"Inari . . ." he growled between sharp, bared teeth.

  


Hiei uncrossed his arms, laying a hand on the hilt of his katana.

  


"Inari-san?" Daini echoed. "He - he's here? But Kit, that can't be possible–"

  


"Quiet," he bit out. His fox ears tipped forward, listening. "Hear that?"

  


Daini tried and heard only silence. Then came a small voice calling from far away. _Hiyaku?_

  


Kit . . . Kit-tousan . . .

  


Daini and Hiei both jerked at the same time as Hiyaku's fox-speak suddenly filled their heads.

  


"The cub is attempting to contact us." Kit searched the ceiling as if Hiyaku could be seen up there. "Oi, Hiyaku!" he called. "Oi!"

  


Kit-tousan . . . P-please answer me . . .

  


Kit cursed softly under his breath. "He is too far away. I cannot talk to him in this form." He stepped back from Daini and closed his eyes, concentrating. A cold, thick mist leaked under his feet and rose to obscure him from the rest of the group. Seconds later the mist disappeared and revealed a silver kitsune, five tails curled about his lean form, nearly calve-high next to Daini.

  


Hiyaku, can you hear me? Kit spoke, vulpine eyes intent.

  


"Amazing," the doctor breathed and pressed himself against the wall.

  


Genkai glanced at him. "You can hear?"

  


"Oh no," he assured her. "I cannot. But that transformation . . . dear heavens . . ."

  


Hiyaku!

  


Kit-tousan! I-I can! the cub squeaked in relief.

  


He is there, tell me. Kit demanded.

  


Hesitation. Yes . . . I – he wants you to come.

  


_Dammit_. Where is Kurama?

  


Downstairs. Hiyaku's tone turned pleading. Please, hurry.

  


I am. Quickly, the youko switched back into his human-like aspect. "I have to go," he said, rushing outside.

  


Daini ran after him. "Kit!"

  


"No. You stay here. God or no god, I refuse to let you near him again!"

  


For once she did not argue. _He's angry, so angry. Why is Inari here? Does Kit know?_

  


Satisfied she wouldn't follow, Kit moved to leave before a black figure blurred past him. Kit grabbed hold of Hiei's cloak, and the youkai halted, turning a fierce glare upon the youko.

  


"Kisama–"

  


"Listen to me," Kit snapped. "I need you to protect Daini and the rest of the temple."

  


"And your god carries a grudge against Kurama," Hiei retorted. "I will not leave him there."

  


Kit growled. "Inari did not come to see Kurama. He came to see _me_ and I know what that pompous immortal wants and it involves Daini."

  


Scarlet eyes narrowed. "If he harms . . ."

  


"He will not."

  


"Then my blade will have your blood."

  


"Agreed," Kit said seriously, and bounded into the forest without another look behind.

  


Daini sighed. "Toka-san, looks like I'm going to be here for a while."

  


"Not to worry," the doctor said, smiling pleasantly. "You're about due for a checkup and it will help pass the time. Shall we?"

  


"Sure. Might as well." She turned to Yukina. "Want to come? You can explain to me a little more about my kids' ki."

  


The Koorime nodded. A worried expression crossed her face, a little pained, a little sad, and then she smiled and followed them inside.

  


"Hiei," Genkai said to the silent youkai. "Keep watch out here, will you?" Not waiting for a reply, she stuck her hands behind her and left.

  


Hiei studied his apparent abandonment. He snorted and disappeared in a flit of midnight color, reappearing atop one of the many surrounding pine trees, keeping all three eyes trained on the distant city.

  


***

  


When Kit arrived at the apartment, he threw open the front door and stalked inside. Kurama was waiting for him, brows furrowed with vexation, and instantly blocked his counterpart's path to the living room.

  


"Don't you dare stop me," Kit ground out. "I know who is in there and why he has come."

  


Kurama clasped the youko's shoulders, shoving his face close. "And so you know why you can't stop him," he whispered fiercely. Kit jerked his glare to the floor and Kurama softened his voice. "Inari won't hurt Daini or the children, Kit. He is here merely to Choose, and see if he can goad you while he's at it."

  


"Goaded accomplished," Kit mumbled. "He gets under my skin and . . . and I have such a lack of control over everything involving him."

  


Kurama smiled a small, bitter smile. "Let him do what he came to do."

  


"Choices."

  


"Yes."

  


"Very well." Kit's eyes blazed with golden heat. "I will go in there and listen as he makes his Choices, and maybe say, "Yes, Inari-sama, that is fine.'" His tone was bitter. "But I also will not hesitate to ask him why, why force these Choices on us and not every damn youko vixen that has a pup." He blinked and ran a hand through his hair. "I sound like a pup myself."

  


"No," Kurama disagreed. "You sound like a youko concerned about his family." He released the broad shoulders and gave Kit a light nudge. "Come on, he's waiting for you."

  


Kit started to walk forward and then paused. "Where is Hiyaku?"

  


"Upstairs. He won't be coming down until Inari leaves."

  


"Smart kid," Kit muttered, making a mental note to check on his adopted son later. "Let us get this over with."

  


Inari was observing them with interest, a ningen magazine open on his white-glad knee. Kit entered the room, and a smile spread across Inari's fair face, revealing gleaming fangs.

  


"My dear son," he chimed, laying the magazine aside and rising to his feet. "Welcome."

  


Kit eyed the god warily, not moving into the long arms spread open for him. "Do not call me that."

  


Inari lowered his offered embrace, unfazed by the hostility. "Truly, I had no hand in creating you, but I did influence the mold which made you."

  


"I know all this," Kit said lowly. "Make your Choices, if that is what you are determined to do."

  


"I am. I cannot allow the first offspring of a silver to go untouched by my hand."

  


Kit lifted his eyebrows. "The first?"

  


Folding his hands almost in some resemblance to meekness, the god paced to the other side of the room, ignoring Kurama who moved out of his way. "All youko automatically become sterile upon entering my inner circle. Thus, as no silver has refused my servitude before Youko Kurama, no silver has actually bred before. And despite his fastidious antics, this one never sired a child."

  


"Youko Kurama," the redhead said softly, "chewed a seed before each time to prevent it. He didn't desire scores of his progeny spreading across the Makai." Emerald eyes fluttered close briefly before alighting on Inari. "But why would this matter?"

  


Inari half-turned toward them. "Silvers are not formed from the genetics of their parentage." He grinned. "As you well know. But the genetics of a silver have never been tested. If I let the twins alone, the half-youko twins that Daini carries within her, what would their coloring be?"

  


"Perhaps we should find out," Kit suggested dryly.

  


Inari chuckled. "Perhaps." He paused, considering. "Or perhaps not."

  


Clenching his fists, Kit started forward but Kurama caught his arm. _Calm, my brother, calm._

  


Black eyes that reflected no light were fixed on the two. Inari watched them, his lips twitching. His trenchcoat waved behind him, caught in a faint breeze that stirred nothing else. "It seems I have made my Choices."

  


The anger drained from Kit. "Yes?" he whispered. "And what are they? What colors will my children be?"

  


"Tsk." Inari shook a playful finger. "I never reveal them beforehand. Wait another six Ningenkai months and you will find out for yourself." He was past them in an eye blink, the door wide and leading into the afternoon sun.

  


Kit scrambled after him and stopped on the porch. "Inari-san!"

  


The god lingered, facing away from them. "Why, you ask?" he said smoothly.

  


Kit took another step. "Why did you come to the Sutajiamu to talk with my mate? Why did you give Hiyaku discolored eyes? Why did you travel so far merely to make Choices for half-breeds? Nothing you have done has ever made sense to me."

  


Inari tilted his head to stare at them. "Such is the god of tricksters and thieves," he replied, inaudible to human ears. "Such am I."

  


But the two standing on the porch were not normal humans. Kit heard the words clearly and sank to his knees, unable to say anything as Inari disappeared in a flurry of silver among black.

  


Kurama knelt beside the prone youko. "Kit . . ."

  


"He lied to me," Kit whispered. "Rather than answer, he lied."

  


"I know," Kurama said gently. "He won't answer questions like those. He never has."

  


"I want to hate him."

  


Kurama had no reply to that; he felt the same. "I'll call Genkai and tell her everything is okay." He lifted a hand to touch Kit's shoulder and thought better of it. "Come inside when you're ready."

  


Kit stayed seated upon the steps until Hiei arrived with Daini carried in his arms. The silver-haired youko doubted he would ever understand. He doubted he was meant to.

  



	3. embracing decision

Chapter 3: Embracing Decision

  
  


"He's always been overly dramatic, whether it be love or hate."

  


–_only human_, a fic by kurasune

  


***

  


"Kit, don't argue with me."

  


The youko's arms were crossed in agitation, bottom lip stuck out in a perfect picture of unhappiness.

  


Daini frowned. "And don't give me that look. I have four months to go, not four days, so you're not going to stop me. I _have_ to go to class! I worked too hard to drop out now."

  


"But I cannot be there with you . . ." he trailed off, turning his eyes away.

  


"Nakame's there," she reassured him. "She has the apartment phone number, Kurama's work number, and his cell phone number. If _any_thing happens, you'll know. Besides," she added, tapping his chest. "Our heartbeats, remember? You'll known immediately."

  


"Of course." He kissed her lightly. "At least allow me to take you there."

  


"Okay," she relented. "As long as you don't travel across the rooftops. You scare people that way."

  


"Agreed," he said, grinning. "I have not ridden in a train since my Shuiichi days."

  


She paled. "T-train?"

  


Pretending not to hear the alarm in her voice, Kit stuck his head back inside the apartment. "Kurama!"

  


"No need to shout," Hiei stated, seated at the kitchen table.

  


Kurama wiped his hands on a dish towel as he came into the foyer. "Yes?"

  


"I am taking Daini to the university," Kit said. "Do you need anything?"

  


"Our groceries will last another week or so." The phone rang and Kurama answered it, being the closest. "Moshi moshi? Minamino speaking." His eyes widened as he listened. "H-hai. He's here." He handed the receiver to Hiei who gave him a puzzled look.

  


In the living room, Hiyaku clicked off the television and padded over to where everyone gathered. "You going out?" he asked Kit.

  


"Why me?" Hiei questioned to the phone.

  


Kurama glanced at the youkai and then smiled a little too brightly. "I almost forgot. Hiyaku-chan, I need another bag of rice. Could you run down to the market?"

  


"Sure," Hiyaku piped.

  


"Thanks," Kurama said. He placed a few coins on the cub's tiny palm and patted the silvery head.

  


"I agree," Hiei grunted to the phone. "When?"

  


"I'm going to be late!" Daini called from the sidewalk.

  


Kit tossed a wink at Kurama and closed the front door behind him. He caught up the girl before she could protest and took off toward the university.

  


"Kit!" Daini clutched her bookbag to her chest. "I _can_ walk, you know."

  


"I know," the youko quipped. "The train station is only a few blocks over."

  


"Look, taking the train may not be . . ."

  


"I know," he said again. "But if I keep avoiding the ningens, how am I ever able to let them adjust to me?"

  


_Maybe he's finally getting used to living here,_ Daini thought. _Maybe there's hope after all._

  


"Our children should grow up in this world," Kit continued. "Perhaps by then my kind will not seem as strange." His eyes glittered with mirth and his tone was light. "Ne?"

  


"Aa," she responded. _Brightening the future for our children. Sounds like a bad line from a movie . . . but I like it. I like it a lot._

  


***

  


Kit smelled rice burning when he returned to the apartment. He sniffed the air and made a face at the dusky odor, and went in search of Kurama. The redhead was on window seat in the living room, leaning against the wall. A book lay open across his lap, but his emerald eyes were focused outside, not really looking at anything except inward.

  


"Kurama," Kit called. "The rice is burning."

  


The ningen-youko did not respond, eyes not even blinking.

  


"_Kurama!_"

  


Kurama started, jerked his gaze to the other youko. For a moment he stared without comprehending, and then his eyes swallowed his pale face. "The rice!" He leapt from the window seat, book thudding to the floor, and dashed toward the kitchen.

  


Kit frowned and padded after him. "You have never made a mistake like that before," he informed Kurama.

  


Kurama stuffed his hand into a mitten and grabbed the pot off the stove. "First time for everything, right?" he said with forced cheerfulness. He stuck the pan under cold water, sending thick steam rising to fill the kitchen.

  


Kit turned off the stove top knobs – they were all on high – and studied the redhead critically. "I thought Hiyaku was supposed to help with dinner."

  


"He offered." A slender hand pushed back his hair. "I sent him upstairs. An old man with a cane scared him on the way home."

  


"Ah. Was the whelp trying to steal from him?"

  


"Not this time."

  


Kit walked over and gently pulled the pot from Kurama's grasp; he redhead had been standing there while the water refilled the brim over and over. Kurama moved aside and let Kit dump the now soggy, blackened rice in the garbage. Going through the motions of putting on more rice, Kit set the timer and then faced his silent counterpart.

  


"What is the matter?" he inquired, crossing his arms and leaning against the cabinet.

  


Kurama sat by the small kitchen window, smothered a sigh. "Hiei's gone again. Remember the phone call? It was Enki's new Peace Treaty Formation. They wanted him to search out the last of the rebels, so he's leaving at the 8:00 portal opening."

  


"So?" Kit straddled a chair across the table from him so Kurama had no choice but to meet his intense golden eyes. "Go with him." Kurama looked skeptical, but Kit continued, "You have extra vacation time that hasn't been used, if I recall correctly."

  


Kurama's eyes widened a little. "Oh yeah."

  


Kit stood and went to stir the rice. "Then the issue is settled. It is 7:45 now. If you hurry, you can still make the portal."

  


"Fifteen minutes?" Shooting to his feet, Kurama wrung his hands and began to pace the kitchen floor. "There's too many things to take care of first. I have to call kaasan and work and pack up all my things. And what about you and Daini-chan? And the babies? And Hiyaku – he's a growing kit; he needs plenty of food–"

  


"_Kurama_," Kit said firmly, halting him in his tracks. "I can make all the necessary contacts for you, and what do you need in the Makai other than a change of clothes and a bottle of soap? As for money, I know all the appropriate account numbers and codes if we need anything." He pushed his double toward the stairs. "Go and pack."

  


Kurama removed the larger hands from his shoulders and gave a small smile, squeezing them lightly. "I owe you."

  


Kit snorted. "See it as a repayment for what you and Hiei did during our stay at Yuusuke's."

  


"Alright, then." Kurama's mile turned into a grin, and he hurried up the steps.

  


Kit and Daini's bedroom was dark and Kurama could make out the still, sleeping form of Hiyaku through the cracked door. Hiyaku had been shaking with fright when he came back earlier, and he had barely managed to stutter out "b-bad old ningen" before burying his face in Kurama's pants leg.

  


He slipped inside. Hiyaku was sprawled on the bed, head pillowed on one tiny hand. Kurama retrieved a thin blanket from the closet and tucked it around the cub. Hiyaku stirred and revealed pale blue.

  


"K'rama-san . . ?"

  


"Ssh," he said softly. "I just came to say goodbye. I'm going to the Makai for a while."

  


"How long?" Hiyaku yawned.

  


"I'm not sure. A few months. You take care of your parents for me, okay, and try to behave." He smoothed the silver hair, amused when the fuzzy ears involuntarily twitched. Hiyaku breathed an affirmative, snuggling down into the blanket. "Sleep well, little one."

  


He soundlessly left the room and crossed the hall to the one he usually shared with Hiei. The fire demon hadn't taken anything with him. Kurama found his tan satchel – fox tail keychain still attached – and packed a few necessary items, a couple of loose outfits tightly folded. He admitted that he was a bit excited, and nervous too, about entering the Makai like this. He had not roamed his homeland since he became Shuiichi, and he had not spent this much time alone with Hiei since . . . well, he supposed he never had. They'd seen each other often during the years before Yuusuke, but never for months at a time.

  


Kurama shouldered his lightweight bag. He strode to the window and pushed it open; the air was chilly, signaling the beginning of winter, and Kurama fetched his coat as an afterthought. _Better safe than very cold._ The section of the Makai they would be traveling rarely experienced any major season changes, but the temperature could, and did, drop at night.

  


Slipping onto the roof, Kurama dropped to the street below and took off toward the forest. What did he hope to accomplish by accompanying Hiei on this little venture? Kurama didn't know, and didn't particularly care. Going into this situation with hidden motives would certainly screw things up, and Kurama had no desire to spend two months or so playing out silent arguments with a sulking fire demon.

  


Kurama smirked. Although Hiei _did_ look adorable when that bottom lip puckered out.

  


He gave a short burst of friendly ki to let Hiei know he was coming. As Kurama neared the center of the woods where the portal would open, he caught sight of the youkai standing beneath the Autumn-colored trees.

  


"Two minutes to spare," Kurama grinned.

  


Hiei gave the redhead a look which plainly stated, 'What are you doing here?'

  


Kurama's grin widened. "I'm going with you. Did you really think you could leave me behind while you had all the fun?"

  


Hiei merely watched him indifferently, and then rolled his eyes. "You're actually five minutes late. Koenma's portal-maker has not arrived yet."

  


"Lucky for me, then." Kurama adjusted his pack across his shoulders, flipping his hair off his neck. "I've really been needing a vacation like this."

  


"It is hardly a vacation," Hiei snorted. "We have to find where the last batch of rebels are hiding."

  


"Arrest or just report?"

  


"Report. The Formation wants to make the arrests themselves."

  


Kurama nodded and shrugged. "Sounds like a vacation to me."

  


"Hiei-san." Kurama and Hiei turned to see a small, female oni. She bowed politely, glancing at Kurama. "Will he be entering the Makai as well, Hiei-san?"

  


"Yes," Hiei told her, ignoring Kurama's satisfied leer.

  


"Step this way, then." She motioned to an empty clearing between the trees, and raised her hands. From her palms came a greyish light that spread into the air and gradually formed their ticket into the Makai.

  


Kurama leaned over and said lowly, "If you want to do this alone, then say so."

  


"I would have," Hiei replied. "But I don't."

  


Emerald eyes sparkled warmly.

  


***

  


Kurama took a deep breath, letting the air fill his lungs, and released it in a happy sigh. "The Makai is so different when it comes to this. Wild . . . that's what it smells like here."

  


"At least in the wilderness," Hiei agreed, adjusting his katana about his waist. "Some of the largest cities are no better than the ones the ningens live in."

  


The redhead wrinkled his fine nose. "Like Gandara. Yomi would rather he was encased in a metal box. But out here . . . here is where the animals run free."

  


"Or foxes, you mean."

  


Kurama tossed his mate a cheeky grin. "Maybe. It's you and me, beloved, all alone under the sky. Whatever shall we do?"

  


"Do?" Hiei sauntered over to the ningen-youko, oval eyes lidded and smokey. He stopped barely an inch away, raising himself on his toes to press his face close and feel Kurama's suddenly erratic breathing. "What shall we do?" His lips twitched evilly. "We complete our mission."

  


_Shoulda known._ "Twisted devil!" Kurama hissed as the youkai moved away from him.

  


Hiei, still smirking, shrugged a thin shoulder. "Only you for." Retrieving a folded map from inside his black cloak, he spread it across the ground. Kurama knelt beside him and peered at the parchment.

  


"That's an awfully large area to cover, Hiei."

  


"It would be, if we had to search all the way to Gandara."

  


"Yomi is still taking his revenge upon the rebels that crashed his system, is he?" Kurama concluded.

  


"The same," Hiei nodded. "The Formation knows that Yomi will destroy any rebels that come within ten kilometers of his territory, which spreads all the way to Bingski. And Yuusuke will immediately contact the Formation of any activity near Raizen's main tower, which lies west of there." He pointed to the map. "So our main concern is the area between those cities, between here and here and where the Ningenkai portal opened."

  


"That's still near one hundred and twenty square kilometers," Kurama told him, raising a brow.

  


"Actually, one hundred and ten. This section here is known as the Cavern of the Forlorn." Hiei traced a triangle with his finger.

  


"I've heard of it," the redhead murmured, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Something about turning friends into enemies."

  


"Any youkai that wander into the cavern won't come out alive."

  


"Precisely." Kurama straightened, tucking his hands into his pockets. "One hundred and ten square kilometers, then. We can travel a few hours before dark."


	4. embracing relationships

Chapter 4: Embracing Relationships

  


looking back on the memory of 

the dance we shared beneath the stars above

for a moment all the world was right

–garth brooks, the dance

***

how on cephiro can he be perpetually cheerful? lantis wondered. I've never been that happy, have I?

:unhappiness is stupid,: eagle said softly in his mind. :especially when there's an alternative.:

–"between friends" a fic by kristin huntsman

***

  


Daini sat up and rolled down her shirt.

  


"Well," Doctor Toka said, removing his gloves. "Your pregnancy is one of the best I've seen recently. The ultrasound looks great and your children are developing according to schedule." He smiled and helped Daini off the table.

  


She grinned. "Today's news just keeps getting better and better. Kit got a job."

  


Yukina clapped her petite hands together. "How wonderful for you both. I am sure Kit-san is proud." 

  


"He's as giddy as Hiyaku with a bowl of ice-cream," Daini said happily. "He half-heartedly applied for a position at this botany research center downtown, but they asked for an interview almost immediately. So he went in and he knew this was where he wanted to work. The next day he signed some papers and that was that."

  


"Amazing," Toka said, "that different species can find common ground like so."

  


"I guess when people have similiarities then it doesn't matter. So, am I done?"

  


Toka patted her on the back. "One more thing before you leave for today. You said you've been tired lately?"

  


Daini nodded. "A little. I mean, I tend to take naps midday and then again in the evening. I wondered if I was just overstressed."

  


"That's probably it. Pregnancy takes a lot out of a woman and you're carrying two at once." He winked. "You're lucky you _can_ sleep. Some women can't even get a few hours in because the child is so restless. If you feel like having a nap, then I don't see any problem with it."

  


"Thanks, Toka-san."

  


The doctor gave a slight bow and tucked his bag under his arm. "I think Genkai-san is ready for some tea. Join us, if you two would like."

  


"I wish to speak to Daini-san first," Yukina said quietly. "Then we will come." She waited until the man left, then closed the panel behind him.

  


Eyebrows drawn together, the black-haired girl looked at her. "Is everything okay? You've seemed really . . . I don't know . . . off?" _Or I'm about to insert foot into mouth._

  


Yukina turned away before Daini could see her faltering smile. "Toka-san is a very good doctor, isn't he?"

  


"Er, yes. He's very nice."

  


The Koorime was silent. Then, "But he cannot sense what I can sense . . ."

  


"Yukina-san . . . what is it?" Daini pushed away the feeling of dread, refusing to be spooked. Things were going so well . . .

  


"He is wrong, about your being tired." She faced Daini, her scarlet eyes overly bright. "That first time you came here for your check-up, I thought perhaps that I was wrong, that I was not properly understanding what I had felt. However . . . I have noticed it more and more the past months, and I am very concerned . . . Daini-san, I fear . . ."

  


Daini stared, hands automatically encircling her swollen belly. "I- I don't understand. Are my children not- not healthy?"

  


Yukina shook her head sadly. "Your children are fine. Their spirits are filled with energy . . . that is why . . ."

  


That was why . . . that was why . . .

  


"Please," Daini whispered. "Don't tell anyone else."

  


"But Kit-san–"

  


"Let me tell him. Please, _please_ . . . I'll tell him myself . . . eventually."

  


***

  


They walked through the forest, ash-colored branches stretched over and across the direction they traveled. The trees were beginning to lose their leaves and every so often a gust of wind would tug at the papery things and send orange, brown, and red careening through the air.

  


It was nice, Kurama decided. Peaceful and breathe-easy. A lazy afternoon with the nearby wildlife just beginning to awaken.

  


He snatched a glance at Hiei who proceeded slightly ahead and to the left. The little youkai seemed relaxed, one hand tucked at the small of his back, the other loose at his side and ready to draw his sword if need be. Before, Hiei had flitted tree to tree, sometimes disappearing in the distance where only Kurama could sense him, like he expected an attack at any moment. But when nothing ever happened and every youkai within a kilometer instantly shied away from them, Hiei finally relented under Kurama's coaxing words and joined the redhead on the ground.

  


They had been traveling like that for several weeks now and seen . . . well, not seen much of anything. The area appeared to be deserted, no signs that anyone had passed by recently.

  


Kurama considered suggesting to Hiei that they back track to the stream they passed a half hour ago, and have some lunch, maybe even take a short dip in the cool water. He opened his mouth to call when a thunderous noise crashed through the foliage to his right.

  


Throwing himself backward, Kurama barely escaped being skewered in his side, and instead received a large gash across his stomach. He landed hard on his back and grimaced at the bright flash of pain.

  


"Kurama!" he heard Hiei cry out.

  


The attacking youkai roared and tossed its horned head, focusing on Kurama who reached a hand into his reddish locks. From behind the pawing youkai, Kurama saw Hiei whip out his katana, sharp blade gleaming, and disappear in a flit of black.

  


_It's not–_ "No! Wait, Hiei!" Kurama shouted. He propped himself up on an elbow, his hand ready to summon the rose whip.

  


Hiei changed his angle, landing close to Kurama's side. "What is it?"

  


The horned youkai roared again, but it was a sound of pain. It staggered to its knees, great tongue flopping to one side of its mouth, and fell forward as its eyes rolled back in its head. It moaned once and then was still.

  


Hiei lifted his eyebrows. "_I_ did not touch it."

  


"You didn't have to." Holding a palm to his slashed belly, Kurama slowly sat up. "It wasn't attacking us but . . . mindlessly fleeing some place."

  


"Tell that to your wound." Hiei straightened, not bothering to offer a hand to the injured kitsune. A wound like that could not possibly incapacitate Kurama, who had survived much worse without even a scar. "So someone got to it before us." Hiei wrinkled his nose. "It stinks."

  


Kurama finally got to his feet. "Someone is right. This youkai was poisoned – what you smell is the roku pollen on its breath."

  


"Roku . . . I have heard of it."

  


"The flower is native to this part of the Eastern Quadrant. I used to carry around a few seeds of it myself. But the flower's pollen is so potent that I never could use it on anyone from this region, because they instantly knew what it was."

  


Hiei circled the motionless body, quick eyes trailing over its bulk before alighting on a patch sewn onto its jacket shoulder. "SLC. No wonder. This bastard's from the South."

  


"SLC?" Kurama frowned. "I wasn't aware that any of the Lords' Coalition were still around."

  


"Neither was I."

  


"Looks like the lords and rebels aren't as buddy-buddy as we thought."

  


Hiei nudged the dead youkai with his toe and made a disgusted face. "Great." He glanced at Kurama. "I do not wish to camp near this thing. If you want, we can return to the stream we passed and tend to your wound."

  


"I think," Kurama replied, smothering a laugh, "that you read my mind."

  


They turned and headed back the way they came, leaving the roku-smelling corpse to the scavengers.

  


***

  


"Hope you brought a spare," Hiei told him a mild sarcastically, knowing full well that the rather vain youko probably packed several. He continued to use the sharp edge of his katana to slice the silk shirt from collar to waist.

  


"I did," Kurama retorted snidely. "But a favorite is a favorite." Leaning against a moss-covered outcrop of rock, he let Hiei part the cloth, hissing slightly in pain when it stuck to his wound.

  


"I thought it would have healed by now," Hiei said, frowning.

  


"Normally it would have." Kurama produced a tiny seed from his hair and crushed the pod between his fingers. He then rubbed the salve into the reddish gash. "But that youkai probably touched his mouth before clawing me, which imbedded a little bit of the roku poison into it." He gently pushed away Hiei's warm hands. "Daijoubu. It's not enough to be serious. I've some bandages in my bag that can slow the bleeding until the effects wear off."

  


Hiei fetched the roll of gauze and began to wordlessly wrap the white cloth around Kurama's toned stomach. He tucked the end under the layers, and leaned forward to rip the excess with sharp teeth. "How long?" he murmured, his lips almost caressing the smooth skin.

  


Kurama felt the tingle of Hiei's breath and let his eyes slide close. "U-until?" 

  


"Until the effects wear off."

  


"Ah." The redhead swallowed, controlling his voice to come out steady. "Two more hours, maybe three."

  


Hiei pressed a quick, open-mouthed kiss on the pale skin above the bandage. "Good. You stay here until your body heals, while I see if I can track the rebels or whoever poisoned our horned friend."

  


"I already told you," Kurama protested. "I'm–" He tried to sit up and a wash of dizziness immediately forced him back down. "–not all right. Okay, I'll stay."

  


Hiei kissed him again, this time on the lips. "Come when you are ready."

  


Kurama nodded but the stout demon had already straightened and turned away, tossing his cloak over his shoulders before flitting up the path.

  


Hiei was disgusted when partners betrayed each other. He had never been very trusting himself, knowing that everyone could and would betray him if it benefitted them enough. He could count those he had ever trusted on one hand.

  


If he cared to think back that far, Shigure might've been the first he had trusted, though Hiei let down his shields more out of desperation. Hiei had wanted to find his sister and to do that he needed a Jagan . . . and a physician to implant it. Once the evil eye was inserted into his forehead, Hiei had no other reason than to leave Shigure. And after the Makai Tournament, after Hiei had defeated Shigure in Mukuro's fortress, the Jaganshi had no other reason to ever think about the physician again.

  


Of course, after Shigure came Kurama, youko gone ningen that he was. But at that first meeting, it had been Kurama who trusted Hiei, and too unconditionally for Hiei's tastes. Demons did not trust demons they barely knew, yet Kurama did not really care. _Naive_, Hiei had called him.

  


Then they had fought Yatsude and things just . . . clicked. Their battle ki had meshed perfectly, each shielding the other, each strengthening the other. It was the first time Hiei had fought with someone, not as enemy to enemy but a partner with a partner. He began to trust Kurama, trust Kurama to watch his back, trust Kurama not to use the rose whip against him. They had never fought against each other in a real kill or be killed battle . . . except . . .

  


Even Kurama had betrayed him, though it was not the kind that Hiei might have once expected. Kurama owed a debt to Yuusuke, the damnable Reikai Tantei who had ruined Hiei's whole plan to find Yukina and then later actually helped rescue her. Kurama owed a debt, and it was Hiei who suffered because of it.

  


Kurama did not sport a scar, Hiei knew, no tell-tale sign that Hiei's sharp katana had ever pierced that pale skin. The shock, the betrayal, that Hiei had felt nearly overwhelmed the youkai; the bright flash of red blood, the smug look on Kurama's face, _I know your weakness_, and then only inky darkness.

  


The thought of Who Kurama Had Been overshadowed Who Kurama Was Now, reminding Hiei that Kurama was a youko first and a ningen second. But the initial betrayal was pushed aside, the hurt buried deep, and Hiei continued to form a delicate, strange relationship with the redhead. He began to trust Kurama again, to even like being around him. And maybe, as ningen movies sometimes said, that was that.

  


Hardly.

  


Hiei's feelings toward the ningen-youko shifted day to day. Sometimes he enjoyed (though never admitted) watching Kurama sleep, the only time he could see the uncomplicated side to Kurama. Sometimes he wanted so much space between them that traveling to the far end of Makai would not be enough.

  


Trust did not keep them together, nor friendship, nor even the sex, which Hiei saw as an added bonus. What kept them together was that 'something else' in the heart, so to speak, of Hiei's core. Hiei had not put a name to the something else and, well, sort of refused to. Knowing exactly what the something else was meant acknowledging that it was real and in control.

  


Scavengers scattered as Hiei landed beside the body of the youkai from earlier. He wrinkled his nose, smelling the dead flesh and rank odor of the roku poison. What a horrible way to die, though Hiei could think of worse. The lords and rebels were not ones to be trusted, not even amongst themselves.

  


Hiei bent and touched a sunken footprint. This youkai came from the East and likely it would be in the East that Kurama and Hie would find the rebel group they had been sent to locate.

  


Keeping his steps light, Hiei headed away from the setting sun. Kurama would know where the youkai was; he always did.

  


Kurama joined him a few hours later, appearing beneath the tree Hiei stood atop. Hiei bound his Jagan and leapt to the ground beside the redhead. Kurama looked better, color back in his cheeks, and he was not favoring his stomach.

  


"See anything?" Kurama asked.

  


"More tracks, different than those of the horned youkai." Hiei jabbed his thumb over a shoulder. "And several leaks of youki that way."

  


"I felt them – maybe about five dozen. I think we found our rebels."

  


Hiei nodded. "They will try to run once they sense us coming. We should base here tonight."

  


"Agreed." Kurama dropped his pack to the ground. "We might actually finish this mission in less than a month."

  


Night was closing upon them fast, and they quickly set a few wards along the perimeter of their makeshift camp to immediately alert them if anything came through. Kurama stretched out on the brownish grass, using his satchel for a pillow, while Hiei flitted to a branch above the redhead.

  


Hiei folded his arms and tucked his cloak round himself. The sudden wash of . . . disappointment . . . had surprised the youkai. So their mission might end sooner than expected, so what? They could go back to the Ningenkai, and back to the tiny apartment they shared with three others.

  


Okay. Not something to look forward to.

  


And, Hiei admitted, he had enjoyed this time alone with Kurama thus far, time they rarely acquired. It was almost like the days long past, days spent studying Reikai maps, days spent merely together and sometimes never having to say a word to communicate.

  


Hiei was disappointed that their little venture might be cut short. That 'something else' was also popping up again . . . begging for a name. But Hiei was not an expert on such things.

  


"Ne, Kurama," he called softly.

  


There was an answering noise, a sound somewhere between an affirmative and a yawn.

  


Hiei took a deep breath and asked his question. He waited. There was no response; the redhead was breathing evenly.

  


The youkai stared out into the darkness, alone, thinking until exhaustion pulled down his eyelids and he joined Kurama in sleep.

  



	5. embracing fear

_Arishia's Note: This chapter contains het lime. Please read with caution. ^^_

  


Chapter 5: Embracing Fear

  


I want to spend the night

nestled close to you until the faraway dawn

we can lose everything else

as long as we don't lose tenderness

–gundam wing, just communication

***

"Love makes you do the wacky." – willow to xander, buffy season two

***

  


"We were right," Kurama murmured, gazing up at the ensemble of youkai above them.

  


Both Kurama and Hiei crouched at the edge of the forest. The youkai they'd been tracking since dawn had stopped atop a cliff that spanned as far as ten kilometers north and south.

  


Hiei tightened his bandana. "They are the rebels the Formation wanted us to find, though there are several times less the amount that was estimated."

  


"Good for us, then, ne?" Kurama grinned. "This mission would be more fun if the Formation let us make the arrests ourselves."

  


Hiei allowed a small smirk. "It would. All we have to do is mark the location on the map."

  


"Might as well get it over with before we're spotted." Kurama pulled out the folded sheet of parchment and smoothed it over a rock. "Now, we should be about here or so, or . . ." Emerald eyes widened. "Oh no. Hiei–"

  


The dark youkai cut him off, tackling Kurama and throwing them both back and into the bushes. Hiei clamped a hand over Kurama's mouth to keep the redhead from protesting. An arrow pierced through the map where Kurama had been, and the paper began to fizzle and catch aflame.

  


"Poisoned," Hiei hissed.

  


Kurama removed Hiei's hand. "Close one." He scanned the cliff. "I don't see anyone up there now." They scrambled to the side as another arrow barely missed them. "Don't know about you, beloved, but I'd rather not wait for them to come to us."

  


The two ducked through the bushes, sprinting toward the wall of exposed rock. Without having to signal to each other, they blurred upward, appearing at the top of the cliff. The attacking youkai scattered in all directions; most of them dove off the opposite side into the ravine below, and then disappearing into the trees. Hiei banished his katana while Kurama grew the rose whip, and they followed the fleeing rebels.

  


Kurama landed in a crouch, quickly taking in the surroundings, vaguely noticing they were somehow alone. "Hiei, this place is . . ." Pain blazed behind his eyes and he dropped the whip, grasping his head with both hands. He was bleakly aware that a certain fire demon was doing the same and trying to choke back screams, but Kurama's own muffled cries drowned out the other's in his ears.

  


"This place is . . . this place is . . ." The pain slowly began to recede and Kurama straightened. "Jaganshi Hiei," he said to the youkai, emerald eyes narrowing. "This place is my territory."

  


Hiei growled, shoving himself onto his feet. "I do not see your mark or smell your scent on it. I claim it for myself."

  


Kurama threw back his head and laughed. "The Forbidden Child has no _rights_! You can no more claim property than you can claim your own life."

  


"And silver youko have rights?" Hiei spat back. "At least I am not bound to a god that created me merely to be his personal slave."

  


A pale hand flipped strands of hair over one shoulder. "You speak of things you do not understand, child. I am Youko Kurama, bound to no one! And you–" He sneered. "Well, your kind need no name. Your stinking half-breed blood alone drives others away from you."

  


Hiei snarled. The sharp metal of his katana rang shrilly as he unsheathed it. "Your arrogance will bring about your death."

  


"As will yours." Kurama produced a leaf and flicked his wrist once, sprouting the small plant into a thick blade to match the revealed sword.

  


They charged, flashing by each other faster than some demon eyes could even see. When they finally landed, they both sported thin gashes.

  


Kurama touched a finger to the seeping red wound and then sucked on the digit. "Impressive, I suppose," he murmured.

  


"I could say the same of you," Hiei told him, examining his bleeding arm. "Maybe. But you are not fighting in your strongest form."

  


Kurama snorted. "I can beat you as a ningen, child. I need not waste the energy."

  


"Come, then." Hiei spread his stance, crouching on the toes of his feet.

  


Kurama mirrored the position. "Time to rid the worlds of your pathetic existence!"

  


Battle yells were ripped from their throats, teeth bared like those of fierce animals. _Kill_, ran through their minds and nothing else. They weren't who they thought they had been.

  


Clang. Their blades connected.

  


"Like I said, Hiei, I am Youko Kurama, bound to no one!"

  


"Ha! Trying to convince yourself?"

  


"I am not bound!"

  


They sprang apart, landed only long enough to gain a solid footing to spring forward again.

  


"You delude yourself, Kurama!" Hiei declared. "You are bound to your ningen mother, your ningen body, your ningen life!"

  


Clang. Their blades clashed, trying to overcome the other, struggling to slice a bit of flesh.

  


Hiei pressed close, leering. "You are bound _to me_!"

  


Kurama, eyes wide, stumbled back. "Urusai!" he cried. "Shut your mouth!"

  


"Why, Ku-ra-ma?" the youkai taunted. "Does the truth did a little too deeply inside your black core?"

  


"No!" Lungs blistering, the redhead launched himself forward once more. "And your core is unaffected!" he countered. "That you have no family, no companions!"

  


Their weapons locked against each other and the two of them strained to push the other away. Their faces were mere inches apart, sweat beading across their brows.

  


"Who will mourn for _you_?" Kurama's voice cracked. "Nobody, eh!"

  


"Kurama . . ." Hiei gritted.

  


Their feet slid in the dust.

  


"Tell me! Who will mourn for you? Naa, Hiei! Who will _mourn your death!_"

  


Scarlet eyes swallowed his face. "My death," the youkai muttered. "My death . . . You, Kurama. Won't you mourn . . ?"

  


"Me . . ." Kurama stared, taken off guard by the desperation in Hiei's tone. "Will I . . . Hiei?"

  


"Stupid kitsune," Hiei whispered. The katana slipped from his grasp, falling to the ground as the leaf-blade Kurama had been wielding shrunk back into a seed and also fell. "You are only bound to those you wish to be bound to."

  


Kurama collapsed to his knees. "I would mourn. I would mourn until my eyes bled."

  


Simultaneously, they slapped their palms to their heads, fisting their hair. The pain built and then receded, leaving them drained and shaking. Rubbing their temples, they raised murky gazes to lock green and red together. At first no one dared say anything . . .

  


"I didn't mean it," Kurama grimaced.

  


Hiei winced. "Neither did I."

  


"Let's not speak of this to anyone."

  


"Agreed." Hiei revealed a fang, anger causing a growl to bubble within his chest. "Those that tricked us will pay."

  


Kurama did not hesitate. "Yes. They will dearly."

  


Silence hung over them like a thick death shroud. Neither one wanted to break the comforting rush of nothing past their ears. They had already apologized . . . and that seemed enough.

  


How had they been fooled? How had they trailed off course, eventually blindly stumbling into the Cavern of the Forlorn? Neither understood. Their map clearly marked the area, yet Kurama and Hiei had easily been sucked into the confusion.

  


It was said that the Cavern's powers originated from a powerful S-class youkai who perished there thousands of years ago. Discovering that his bonded mate had betrayed him, the youkai had flown into a rage and fell down into the ravine. The youkai, filled with hate toward the one that had mortally wounded him, cursed the land. All who entered thereafter would be infected with the same raging emotion that he had gone through and, in turn, slay their own companions. The youkai's revenge played out over and over in the deaths of other youkai throughout the generations.

  


But Hiei and Kurama had managed to somehow escape the prison. Again, why? This question, among all the others, weighed heavily on their thoughts.

  


They walked side by side, not touching but close enough to feel each other's warmth. Kurama had his eyes focused where he put his feet. Hiei's eyes were closed, Jagan unbound and glowing as he tracked the rebels.

  


Their mission had not changed. The Peace Treaty Formation wanted the rebels, did they? Well, they would get the stinking youkai . . . after the two were finished with their hunt. The Formation would receive bodies, bits and pieces, nothing more. Of that, at least, Kurama and Hiei were certain.

  


"Wait," Hiei said lowly, halting.

  


Kurama also stopped and observed calmly while the youkai searched.

  


Hiei muttered a curse. "They formed a barrier kekkai to sleep inside and it is scrambling their exact location. We had best retire now. They won't budge until morning."

  


Kurama nodded. "We can't move well in the dark anyway."

  


"And we need the strength tomorrow." After setting wards around the area, Hiei disappeared, reappeared in the branches of a large ash-colored tree. "It is going to rain tonight," he informed the redhead below. "You might want to grow some adequate shelter."

  


Kurama made a face at the ground. "Your tree big enough for two?"

  


"It's big enough for that clone of yours, his mate, and their youko brat." Hiei paused. "Not that I would care to invite them."

  


The ningen-youko grinned, glad that Hiei was attempting to lighten the mood. "I'm coming up." He climbed to Hiei's level and eased himself against one of the curving branches, tucking his pack behind his head. Above, the clouds split open and shed great wet droplets over the Makai foliage. "Just in time," Kurama commented.

  


Hiei tilted his head back, gazing up through the leaves. "Kurama . . ."

  


"Hmm?"

  


"What happened . . . I do not wish to remember any of it." Hesitation. "Except . . ."

  


"Except?" Kurama echoed. _Except what?_

  


"Except when we broke the spell." Hiei lowered his eyes to look at Kurama. "I will never forget what was said."

  


"Oh." _I never can either._

  


"And I must ask . . ." The youkai shifted, clenched his jaw. "Do you want to bond, with me, as your kind do?"

  


Kurama blinked, unable to keep from staring. "We discussed this before. I- I'm not sure right now." His brow furrowed. "Do you?"

  


"I think about it," Hiei confessed, returning his gaze to the sky. _It . . . bonding . . . what I feel for you, you who would mourn my death._ "I think about taking that step."

  


"And?" Kurama whispered. But Hiei did not answer.

  


The rain drummed across the land, soaking into whatever it touched.

  


"You were right."

  


Hiei glanced at him, said nothing.

  


Kurama scooted to a more comfortable position, folding his arms over his chest. "That I am bound."

  


"Kurama," Hiei said automatically, sitting up. "That is not what I–"

  


The redhead laughed softly. "But it's true. I am bound, beloved, and you know it. However . . . there is only one and that person is you." He fixed serious emerald eyes on the youkai. "You were also right later on, when the spell began to break. I choose who I let myself be bound to."

  


Hiei's reply was quiet. "Do you want to bond?"

  


Kurama crawled to the side of his mate, bent over, and kissed him. It was a chaste kiss, not at all what they had shared in the past, but it was what they both needed. When they parted, Kurama gave a genuine, happy smile. "Ask me again after this mission is over, ne?"

  


"Aa."

  


Instead of returning to his previous spot in the tree, Kurama stayed where he was, curled up close to the one that affected him like no other. The years they had spent together were short compared to a normal youkai life-span, but they were just as influential as two centuries. They adjusted to fit each other . . . they always managed to work things out, eventually.

  


They watched the Makai breathe in the fresh, wild scent of clouds and damp, and listened to the rain.

  


It would take almost another month before they caught up to the rebels.

  


***

  


Daini scratched behind Hiyaku's downy ears, laughing as he twitched them between her fingers back and forth. His tiny feet swept through the air as he absently crossed his ankles. He lay on his stomach, blue eyes concentrating on the television before him, chin resting on upturned palms.

  


"Hiyaku-chan," she said, giving a pout. "Do you really have to watch that?"

  


"I like it," he argued. "Ningens are so funny."

  


Daini sighed. On screen, a news reporter inside a van was taping the scene outside Kurama's apartment, which was not really at all enthralling. "One glimpse of Kit and they all go nuts." She put on an Australian accent. "'We are waiting for the _elusive_ silver youko to return to his den. See how he brings home milk and Pepsi for his mate?' Really, they never give up, do they?"

  


Hiyaku giggled at her impersonation. "Nope." He turned to the TV. "Tousan's back."

  


Kit was glaring into the not-so-hidden camera while hunting for his key. Daini continued to scribble on her homework, a textbook balanced across her rounded tummy.

  


"Should I let 'em in?" Hiyaku inquired.

  


Daini glanced at the screen. "Good idea. He's getting frustrated and we wouldn't want him to break another piece of equipment."

  


The child blinked. "We wouldn't?"

  


"Go on," she shooed him. "I need to finish this essay."

  


Hiyaku hopped off the bed and she could hear him bounce down the stairs, joyfully telling his 'papa' that he was using the wrong key. Moments later, Kit trudged into the bedroom, Hiyaku dangling from his neck.

  


"Damn reporters," he grumbled.

  


"I know," Daini replied sympathetically.

  


It had been the same routine every night since Kit got his job. Reporters began following him to and from the laboratory, never asking questions, just watching. And then they would camp outside the apartment, waiting for Kit to leave or return. The TV station was calling their new prime time segment "The Secret Yet Normal Life of Youko Kit," which Daini thought sounded fairly stupid to her.

  


Kit enjoyed his job, though, enjoyed working with the rare plants and teaching the ningens who were his co-workers. It gave him an avenue to use his natural powers, and the ningens had accepted him almost instantly. Tail or no tail, he was an expert and the botany enthusiasts adored him. Kit was also receiving a steady income and that satisfied him more than anything. He could provide his increasing family with food, help with Daini's education, and even . . 

  


Kit pecked his mate on the cheek, tugging loose Hiyaku's clinging arms. "I have a surprise to show you," he told the girl.

  


Hiyaku clapped his hands. "What's it?"

  


"You will know later, brat," Kit said, no heat in his tone. "Right now, I am taking Daini to see it. You guard the house, eh?"

  


A little hand flew to the cub's forehead. "Hai!"

  


"Now, then." Kit bent and tucked his arms under Daini, lifting her. Books and papers tumbled to the bed.

  


Daini smothered her initial protest and merely wrapped her arms round his neck. _No use arguing_, she mused. _Not when being submissive will get me a surprise._

  


Kit made sure that their adopted son would stay behind, then carried her out their bedroom window so they escaped the watchful lenses in the front yard. Daini shifted closer to him, letting his warmth drive away the cold.

  


"Do you think it's okay to leave Hiyaku alone like this?" she asked doubtfully. "He may have turned five, but he's still so young."

  


Kit grinned. "I called Shiori after work. She will be over to take care of him for the night."

  


"The night?" Daini echoed. _What's this crazy youko got planned?_

  


But Kit kept his secret, teeth gleaming in the twilight as he grinned. They soon left the rooftops and streets, and Kit's agile feet raced across the grass browned by the recent chilly weather. Daini wondered where they were headed, what Kit could possibly want to show her out here. After a few minutes of running, the youko slowed and landed at the edge of a clearing.

  


Kit set her on her own feet, pulling a piece of cloth from his pocket. "As a ningen," he said softly. "You automatically rely on your eyes first to tell you what you are experiencing." Daini looked doubtful, but let him gently tie the cloth over her eyes. "I wish for you to experience this how I do – with my nose, with my touch."

  


"Kit . . ."

  


"Trust me." His warm breath fanned her face, scent spiced with mint and heavy musk. A long-nailed hand caught one of her own and carefully, slowly, tugged her forward.

  


"What do you smell?" he asked as he led her.

  


"You." She bit the inside of her cheek to keep from giggling and ruining the moment.

  


But he seemed pleased by her answer. "Good . . . what else?"

  


Concentrating this time, she inhaled deeply through her nose. "Umm . . . roses, is it? Flowers. Lots of greenery and- and there's a stream." She heard the faint sound of water upon rock.

  


Kit's drumming chuckle soothed her. "A small one, yes." He folded his hand over hers and stretched them both out, splaying their fingers. "Feel that?"

  


Daini's fingertips brushed against wood, then a smooth metal handle as Kit guided her. "A door, or gate," she guessed. "Where are we? Come on, Kit, let me see now."

  


Obliging, Kit released her bound eyes. Daini blinked to focus to the light filtering through the branches, and then peered at her surroundings.

  


_Oh my._ Daini held back a gasp. They stood in front of a gate covered in flowering vines, connected to a stone wall that encased whatever building belonged to the peeked roof she could see. Kit pushed open the gate, revealing the courtyard that led to an old temple.

  


"I found this place a few weeks ago," Kit told the speechless girl. "Once I began my employment, I contacted some different people to find out who was the owner. But the temple has been abandoned for so long that no one remembers anything about it." He paused, watching her reaction. "So I offered an amount and we contracted a deed. This whole acre is ours, including the stream you heard."

  


His mate was silent, violet eyes wide. Daini did not know what to say. _We have a place of our own now; he's done this for us. But he doesn't even *know* that . . ._

  


"You hate it."

  


Daini turned to him. The youko seemed crestfallen, ears drooping. _I- I can't tell him, not- not- *not right now.*_ "No. Not at all!" she reassured him. She tried out a joke, feeling her lips curve upward. "It's just that I never thought of you as domestic."

  


The light came back into his face. "I need to provide for my family, do I not?" He clasped her hand again and took her up the temple steps to the front sliding panel. "It is not completely furnished, mind you, but I cleaned the place so I could show you tonight. Everything else will come in time."

  


In time. Daini bit her lip, fighting back a sudden rush of heat behind her eyes. She would not ruin this moment for him . . . for _them_.

  


Kit gave her a tour of the temple and how he had already renovated several sections of it. The main area could be a sort of living room, with several bedrooms off to the right. To the left were a makeshift kitchen and an adjoining room that could be used for dining.

  


"No electricity for now," Kit said. "Though a company is coming in a few weeks to start setting us up. We will get electricity and hot water and even a phone. Come, this way." Tugging her lightly, he guided them to another section of the temple. "I chose this room for us." He pushed aside a wall panel, let her enter first, then shut it behind them. As she looked about the area, he went and touched a few flowers in the corners, awakening them to cast their glowing light.

  


Daini took a couple of steps and noticed a futon spread out from one wall. She couldn't help but grin. "Ne, Kit."

  


"Eh?" he answered, preoccupied with the flowers.

  


"Is this where the bed goes?"

  


The youko pricked his ears forward at that and crossed the room to her side. "I suppose it could."

  


"Here?"

  


She slid her palms up his chest, gliding her fingers through silky, silver strands that fell over his shoulders. Kit made a noise in the back of his throat, his attention focused on her hands. Daini took that as a yes and clutched either side of his face, encouraging him to bend down and press his forehead to hers.

  


"Perfect," she whispered. "It's all perfect." She leaned back and he caught her in his arms, lowering them both onto the thin yet soft futon.

  


"I have missed you," he murmured, grazing his teeth along her jaw, then her throat that she gladly exposed. "Working as I am, I do not get to–"

  


She silenced him with her lips, shifting so he settling familiarly between her thighs. Right now she just wanted, needed, to feel every part of him that she could. She needed him to surround her and drive away the outside world. She wanted to forget what she had to eventually face.

  


"Daini," he protested, breaking their kiss. "The children . . . I might . . ."

  


She reached up and touched his cheek. "Men and women have been doing this since the beginning of time."

  


"I am not a man."

  


She smiled. "And our children are not mere humans either."

  


"Daini–"

  


"You won't hurt them," she said tenderly. "You won't hurt me. Kit, I trust you."

  


He cracked under her coaxing words and soft caresses, and allowed the girl – no, the _woman_ – to overcome his senses. Her voice, her touch, her scent possessed his mind and core, and she was all he knew.

  


He was gentle, gentler than he had been their first time together. That night, under the _Jiyuu_ moon, he'd had no comprehension of bedding a human. The ningens Youko Kurama had seen in Makai were dirty, unintelligent creatures. And during his escapes throughout the Ningenkai, the youko had never met one that he liked enough to take to bed. Thus even with dawn rapidly approaching, Kit had struggled to be as gentle as possible.

  


Now he went slow with her, Daini's small hands clinging to his shoulders as he moved. She desired to both burrow herself under his soft skin, and make the moment last forever.

  


Her actions of late worried him, though he did not reveal such to her. She smiled less and when she did smile it was forced. She slept whenever possible, early at night and late in the morning. She was prone to staring into the distance, absorbed in her own thoughts, not noticing that he watched her. He considered that it might be the stress of carrying the twins . . . but he was not sure.

  


So he tried to be the understanding, patient husband that she required. He tried to ignore the faltering smiles, tired eyes, and despondent moods. He tried to merely support and not interfere, not inquire why she was weaker or seemed so very, very sad . . . He tried desperately . . .

  


She unconsciously twisted her hips a certain way and Kit cried out, exhaling hot breath against her neck. She was everything he had yearned for, yet Kit could only turn a blind eye to her unspoken pain. She was silent as she tensed around him, face damp and pressed into the pillow, and Kit followed her soon after.

  


They lay, legs entwined, spent and panting quietly. The heavier youko rolled so he would not crush her, and pulled Daini to his chest, covering them both with his silky tail. Staring up at the ceiling, he stroked her bare back.

  


Daini was trembling.

  


Kit raised on an elbow to peer down at her and glimpsed tears sparkling along her eyelashes. "By Inari, did I–"

  


"I'm sorry," she whispered. Her lip quivered and she choked back a sob. "Oh Kit, I'm so, so sorry . . ."

  


_What the hell– _Kit attempted a pitiful laugh, laying a long-nailed hand on her thin shoulder. "Oi, remember? No apologies."

  


She shoved away his tender gesture, jerking up violet eyes. "Just shut up and listen! Kit, _listen to me_. I- I- I _can't_, I can't go on like this anymore! There's something . . ." She fought back tears. "There's something very important that I have to t-tell you."

  


Golden eyes could do nothing but stare; fox-like ears could only listen helplessly. Fear, Kit saw in his mate's eyes. Fear and panic and . . . and a deep sorrow that he knew he could not conquer for her.

  


Daini took a deep, shaky breath.

  


And told him.

  



	6. embracing bondage

Chapter 6: Embracing Bondage

  


Ari: I have concluded that, after completing this chapter, Kurama and Hiei hate me.

Kurama: ::sighs:: We don't hate you, Ari... we just... You did some really awful things to us (to me!) and then expect us (me!) to just be fine and mesh well with your plot.

Ari: I gave you a nice ending, though...

Kurama: Oh, yeah.

Hiei: Still hate you. I refuse to cooperate anymore.

Ari: ::sobs:: What did I *do?!*

Hiei: ::points to chapter 6:: Wanted to see how many times you could misspell my name?

Ari: Oh. Whoops.

Hiei: ::snort::

  


***

  


This chapter was written for Mina Lightstar, who was the first to wonder (albeit not patiently^^) what an Arishia-style lemon (ok, so it's more like lime) would be like. Well, dearie, wonder no more. Happy (Belated) Birthday!

  


***

  


all manner of thing shall be well

when the tongue of flame are in-folded

into the crowned knot of fire

and the fire and the rose are one

t.s. eliot, little gidding

  


***

  


The weeks passed and with them any thought of going home early. Kurama and Hiei traveled onward in medium spirits, slowly gaining distance on the rebels they tracked as they followed a rather obvious trail. It was easy work – for all their enthusiasm, the rebels were horrible at disappearing – and Hiei rarely had to unleash his Jagan. The two of them walked rather than ran, knowing that the youkai ahead would scatter if they moved too quickly.

  


The topic of bonding had been put aside. Gone was the light-hearted teasing and mild flirting. Anything said was taken seriously, for the most part, and they only spoke when necessary.

  


'Something else' was now just that: something else that Hiei did not want congesting his mind. He had to ignore it or else risk endangering both himself and Kurama. Right now, while they tracked their enemies, was not the best time to be distracted with such irrelevant thoughts. The 'something else' could wait.

  


Hiei almost bumped into Kurama who had stopped suddenly, and the youkai bit back a curse at being caught off guard. "What is it?"

  


"The rebels." Kurama bent and pointed to the footprints they had been following. "These prints are fresher than the last ones." He straightened and moved up the path. "They're changing direction."

  


Hiei cursed once again, this time aloud. He was growing weary of this mission. "Trying to circle around us, are they?" He fixed a hard, irritated look on the kitsune. "Let's end this little game."

  


"They can't be too far ahead. We can intercept them quite easily enough."

  


"Fine." Not waiting any longer, Hiei gripped his sheathed katana and vanished through the underbrush.

  


Kurama met his stride moments later, able to keep up with Hiei's pace. To Hiei's credit, the youkai stayed slow enough for Kurama, but Kurama was not heavy on his feet, either. The redhead leapt from the ground, to trunk, to branch, without being out of breath, never disturbing a single leaf or blade of grass.

  


Years of practice enabled the two of them to run together like so. They knew each other's every movement, the second one shifted in front or behind, exactly where they would lightly place their feet next.

  


It took less than a half hour to catch up to the rebels.

  


Hiei withdrew his katana and tossed away his black cloak. Kurama paused to kneel on the browned earth, shrugging off his satchel as he pressed one palm to the dust. He concentrated; his hand trembled. Then from somewhere nearby, youkai began to shout above the sound of crumbling earth and sprouting roots.

  


Kurama curled up his lip, smirking, and quickly darted after Hiei.

  


Youkai scattered when Hiei dropped into their midst, metal flashing. They were a ragged group, half starved and exhausted from fleeing the two that had relentlessly hunted them for weeks. But the dozens of youkai were also fiercely angry, and they possessed a desperate glint in their glares.

  


Hiei cut through their ranks, hacking at arms, legs, and heads. There was no more patience for mercy ; Jaganshi Hiei had had enough.

  


Kurama grinned, eyes sparking with excitement, and fixed on the sight of battle. His roots had skewered many during his surprise attack, enough to cause confusion and fear. He knew that Youko Kurama would have rushed into the blinding thickness, but Kurama himself held back the eagerness that rose within him. He would give them all death, yes, but a quick death – not quite so painful.

  


His mate seemed to be enjoying himself, though, using his refined swordsman skills to their height. These rebels were no weaklings and there were a few low A-classes mixed among them. Hiei already had a few cuts, yet nothing too serious.

  


Finally, Kurama struck. He whipped out his favored rose and swiftly sliced through the youkai that had noticed him. Those not afraid attacked Kurama, forcing him to leave his perch and fully join the fighting. He twisted his body gracefully, dodging their claws and weapons, enticing them to be swept into the chase, his whip snapping at those that came too close.

  


Hiei glanced over at the kitsune. Kurama had initiated his usual dance, allowing the enemy to nearly touch him, then dashing away, all the while dwindling down their ranks. But Hiei saw what Kurama could not, that a large-sized youkai was easing up behind him, raising up a long, wooden spear.

  


"Kurama!" The name was wrenched from Hiei's throat. Crowded as he was, Hiei could not get there in time. But surely, surely Kurama would sense – 

  


Amusement lifting his lips, Kurama threw himself backward, eluding the youkai in front that tried to catch him. He heard Hiei call his name and the alarm in the deep voice made Kurama turn his head toward Hiei ever so slightly. It was enough to notice that someone was attacking from behind . . . but not soon enough to change direction . . .

  


Pain sliced through Kurama's body as the spear erupted from his chest, impaling him. The rush of battle grew muffled in his ears; even Hiei's shouts seemed far away. Kurama had felt pain before – intense, white-hot pain – but none had ever frightened him as much as this.

  


_My heart, my–_ He tried to take a breath and warm blood bubbled up from within and slide down one side of his slack mouth. He was vaguely aware that his second favorite shirt was ruined, stained by glistening red. All this happened in less than five seconds.

  


Then Hiei's voice broke through the dimness, reaching the ningen-youko who was almost beyond reach at all. The tenor swept into Kurama's mind and wrapped around his muddled conscious.

  


"_Change, Kurama!_"

  


Kurama, frozen upon the spike, blinked once and his eyes blazed like molten gold. His hair began to move about his face, streaking silver and reaching to his waist. A cold mist leaked around his ankles, swarmed up around him, and then vanished completely, disclosing the tall, fully transformed youko.

  


The youkai behind him gulped, unable to stutter anything.

  


Clawed hands reached to grasp the spear protruding from his chest. Obeying some silent command, the wood shot out and stabbed the youkai that had first wielded it, nearly decapitating him.

  


The spear shrank, steadily becoming smaller and thinner. Kurama smoothly pulled it from his chest and tossed it away. Soon it was a mere splinter, making no sound as it was lost in the dust. Released from the weapon's prison, Kurama fell forward onto his knees.

  


The last of the rebels were closing in. Hiei snarled, seeing that he had no other choice. He could not fight and protect the injured youko at the same time. He built up his youki, prepared to burn the wards binding his right arm, and set loose the kokuryuuha.

  


"Hiei, wait," came Kurama's quiet but steady beckon. The silver head rose and golden eyes were narrowed dangerously. "Let me."

  


_Damn fox will hurt himself._ Hiei frowned but did as Kurama requested. When Kurama was this focused, this angry, not even Hiei could persuade him otherwise.

  


Kurama slowly rose to his feet, tail lapping at white-clad thighs. "Time to end this. Be assured, Enki's Formation will receive your pieces." A thin hand slid into his hair, finding the seed he wanted and cradling the pod in his palm. "Time to awaken," he cooed to it. "Time to satisfy your hunger."

  


The seed sprouted, enveloping Kurama's arm and shoulder as he only smirked. He had not used this particular Makai plant since his fight against Karasu during the Ankoku Bujutsukai, and it was ready to feed. Its massive jaws opened wide, dripping acidic saliva, and it rushed at the advancing youkai.

  


Screams were cut short, bodies torn apart or even swallowed whole by the multiple mouths. Kurama stood to the side and watched, long arms folded comfortably. _I gave you a chance for a painless death, but angering me will only produce the opposite._

  


Hiei could not help but stare. Kurama rarely used such powerful plants, and he never took them lightly. The youko must have felt it necessary this time; despite his relaxed posture, Hiei felt Kurama's youki trained on reining in the plant and keeping it controlled.

  


Hiei tensed as one of the many mouths swept by him. He trusted Kurama to control these things, but they still made him uneasy sometimes, and he did not trust the plants themselves at all.

  


The mouth, lined with dozens of needle-like teeth, turned around and headed back toward Hiei. Hiei widened his stance and readied himself to draw his sword; he was not about to be consumed by an overgrown daisy.

  


"No." Kurama appeared between him and the snapping jaws, one hand outstretched in a 'stop' gesture. The plant halted immediately. "This one is mine." The youko swept his ears forward as though listening, and then he said in a more demanding tone, "I don't care if you haven't eaten in over a decade. You can not have him."

  


The salivating mouth seemed to pace back and forth, before emitting a piteous whimper and slinking off to find other prey.

  


Kurama waited until it was gone, lowering his hand. He looked over his shoulder, silver fraying as he tossed his head. "Sorry, love. Won't happen again."

  


Hiei snorted. "Glad you care."

  


Golden eyes warmed, sending an unbidden thrill up Hiei's spine. "I do. This battle is almost over. Why don't you ask me that question once more, the one that has been weighing so heavily on your mind." Not waiting for a response, Kurama left the youkai on the sidelines, intending to finish off the last surviving rebels.

  


Hiei jerked away, mainly to hide the blush that colored his cheeks. So Kurama was again opening the topic, was he? Why not, he wanted to know? Well, Hiei would give the mischievous youko what he asked for, and beyond.

  


Feeling the heat leave his face, Hiei turned to survey his silvery mate and found his chest swelling with anticipation. It might just be the right time to take their relationship to the next level . . .

  


Finally they were alone among scattered bodies. The Makai plant returned to a seed under Kurama's calm dictation, and the youko hid it back within his hair.

  


"How is your wound?" Hiei asked, wiping the demon blood from his sword.

  


Kurama touched the left side of his chest, wincing as his fingers came away stained violet. "Still bleeding." He made a face. "How could they know where a human heart was?"

  


"Lucky strike," the youkai grunted.

  


"Not for me. Another centimeter and I would have been dead long before I could change aspects." He licked his fingers clean. "As is, I am fine, but I won't be able to change back until it is completely healed."

  


Hiei finished and secured his sword at his side. Retrieving his cloak, he slung it over his head. "Do you need aid?"

  


"In this form, it is not really that bad."

  


Kurama was already peeling the cloth off his chest, bare from the waist up. Hiei walked over and batted his hands away. "I patched you up once, another time will not matter." 

  


Kurama obediently spread his arms, smiling to himself when Hiei had to stand on tiptoe to reach. "My second favorite shirt was destroyed."

  


"So I noticed."

  


"I'll have to go shirtless."

  


Hiei glanced up from wrapping the bandage, noticing the humor, and knowing that Kurama _did_ have several other shirts with him. He took the offered bait, then cast his own. "Fine by me."

  


Kurama snagged it. "Fine? Is that all?"

  


"What else do you want?" While the youko pondered that, Hiei ripped away the hanging pieces of the whitish outfit and silently admired the close-up view. "Kurama," he said absently. "Do you remember that time when I did not let you catch me?"

  


Kurama blinked. "No." _I recall no such event . . . though he *did* put up quite a struggle that one time . . ._

  


"Good. Because it has never happened." Black cloak rustling, Hiei vanished in a whirl of displaced air.

  


Golden eyes were perplexed as Kurama stood there, trying to shift through what just happened.

  


_//"Fine? Is that all?"_

  


_"What else do you want?"//_

  


Those same eyes widened.

  


Pausing long enough to snatch up his coat and satchel, Kurama raced after his beloved.

  


He found the youkai nearly an hour later, after a chase that left the injured youko a bit sore and tired. He blatantly ignored the aching in his seven-foot-high body; he could deal with it if Hiei continued whatever little scheme he was playing out.

  


Hiei greeted him with a small, almost chaste, kiss at the corner of fine lips. "Sorry," he murmured, brushing the pads of his fingers over the patched chest.

  


Kurama clasped his hand and squeezed it. "Does not matter." _I think I might give you anything if you only asked. And you have considered asking for a long time, haven't you, Hiei? Hiei?_

  


"We can stay here tonight," Hiei suggested, scarlet eyes surveying him.

  


_Together? With me like *this*?_ Kurama hesitated, shifting his feet uncomfortably. He let go of Hiei's hand and backed away, eyebrows knotted.

  


"You always do that."

  


"Do what?" Kurama realized he was fiddling with his tail and stopped. He tried to relax his behavior, fangs digging into his bottom lip.

  


Hiei moved closer, his warmth washing over the youko. "That," he said quietly. "What is it about this form that bothers you?"

  


"It doesn't–" He cut off the lie that Hiei would see right through. "The . . . memories . . ." The youkai did not answer so Kurama continued, "I connect too many unpleasant memories to this aspect of myself. I . . . it reminds me of what I used to be."

  


"So?" Hiei's voice was soft but firm. "Are you the only one who ever regrets the past?"

  


"No," Kurama replied almost inaudibly. "I am not. However . . . there are few who were worse than I was."

  


"So?" the demon countered again. "Since you became a human–" Kurama opened his mouth to protest but snapped it shut "– what has this part of you done except aide those you are loyal to?"

  


The Ankoku Bujutsukai, the battle against Sensui, the Makai Tournament . . . very few times had Kurama used the fox-eared shape from his past to fight. And each time had been to help the Urameshi group. Kurama did not answer.

  


Hiei let loose a sigh. "For a long time, Kurama, I let the past decide who I was. Then I met you and I was shaped by the present, the 'right then.' And now," he reached up and clasped the youko's face, forcing the unsure gaze to meet his own, "now I want to examine the future and see if it is satisfactory, if I will be then who I prefer to be."

  


"Is it?" Kurama questioned.

  


"Not yet." Hiei leaned closer, gently pulling the taller one down to his level. "'You don't want me as a ningen.' You said that to me once." Moist lips ghosted over his own, but he still held back. "My stupid, confused, old mate . . . I would never force you to choose between them."

  


"I am _not _stu–"

  


"Kurama, do you want to bond?"

  


The ningen-youko quivered. "I- I desire nothing more."

  


Scarlet eyes focused on gold, a thumb tracing along one fine cheekbone. "Then I will have nothing less."

  


Clothing was shed piece by piece, save the binding across Kurama's wound and Hiei's arm and forehead. Neither of them would later remember who was the one to draw the ritual circle using a simple stick; would not remember the first to say the words, to offer an exposed palm, to draw blood.

  


"I give my blood – _my life, my body, my soul, my heart_ – to you."

  


"Do you take – _accept, claim, embrace_ – it?"

  


They pressed their palms together, fingers tightly interlaced, gazes locked.

  


"We are wounded together." _In battle, always by your side. In ourselves, by each other._

  


"We heal together." _We bandage our wounds; we compromise our differences._

  


"We breathe together."_ We share the same air, the same journey . . ._

  


They separated their hands, cuts perfectly healed. A tiny pucker of skin scarred each palm, evidence of the first act of bonding.

  


And the second . . .

  


"Kurama," Hiei murmured, "are you sure you can . . ."

  


"I am injured," the youko responded, padding over to his coat they had spread over the grass, still within the circle. He lay down, stretched out long, firm legs. "Not deceased."

  


Hiei knelt beside him, hands fisted over tan thighs. "When I saw you . . ."

  


"Hush, love." Strong arms drew him near and Hiei buried his face in silver, perfumed hair. That damnable 'something else' had closed his throat and dampened his eyes. And Kurama had dared put a name to it.

  


Hiei breathed in roses and arousal. He trailed his fingers down the slender neck, thumb grazing a nipple. It was not often that he got to touch the youko aspect of Kurama. This form was not as pliant as the redhead, all long limbs, silky hair, and expanses of pale flesh. But it was Kurama still, and flowing through those veins was the soul that Hiei had claimed.

  


_//Yuusuke alive. They laughed, too relieved to do anything else, and too tired to care that they were out of character. Their voices meshed as one, ringing loud in their ears.//_

  


Hiei tilted his head slightly, pressing his lips to the side of Kurama's neck, which Kurama readily exposed. His hand continued lower, feathering over a taut stomach, and reached the silver curls beneath.

  


Kurama sucked in a sharp breath and opened his thighs. If Hiei wanted to touch him then, by Inari, Kurama would not be a hindrance.

  


"You know," Hiei commented, tenor low, "we have never done this with you like you are."

  


Kurama swallowed, trying to resist bringing his hips closer to Hiei's motionless hand. "R-really?" _I suppose we haven't . . . I never let him . . ._ "Hiei, if you don't want–"

  


Smaller lips covered his own, almost bruising in their intensity, tongue seeking entrance. Kurama parted his mouth and met the warmth, each tongue sliding slickly over the other. Hiei's hand brushed down his lower belly, calluses sending a shiver racing up his spine, and lightly caressed the growing hardness of Kurama's length.

  


Hiei broke away enough to whisper, "I do. But I want . . ." He met Kurama's gaze and the youko understood immediately.

  


Kurama rolled in a flurry of pale and tanned skin, silver strands fanning over them. His larger body covered the compact one beneath him, his broad hands entwining with the smaller and bringing them above the youkai's head. He licked Hiei's nose, chin, then his lips, slanting his mouth to initiate a searching embrace.

  


Hiei sucked on his tongue, shifted so their hips met. "Kurama . . ."

  


Kurama rocked above him, pushing their lower bodies together, trying to gain more friction. "So fast," he breathed.

  


"Don't care."

  


"Need to . . . aah . . . prepare . . ."

  


"_Don't care._ Kurama!"

  


Hiei pressed his face to his arm as Kurama gently nudged his legs apart and smoothly passed through the ring of muscle, burying inside. Kurama did not move at first, putting his cheek to Hiei's own flushed one.

  


"We've never . . . are you all right?"

  


Hiei turned his head to gaze at him, and Kurama was surprised by the depth of emotion he saw there. "I just . . . I figured out what has been bothering me all this time." He wrapped his legs around the youko, bringing Kurama deeper within him. Kurama moaned softly and huffed hot breath against his neck. "I could not accept it."

  


"Hiei–"

  


"My love for you." Hiei lifted his hips and Kurama responded. Not holding back, he began a sweet rhythm, hitting a spot inside Hiei that made him cry out. Kurama released their hands and Hiei fisted silver hair, slamming their mouths back upon each other.

  


All was silence, save their quiet pants and soft cries.

  


The youko trembled and filled Hiei with damp warmth, shuddered when Hiei's own release spurted between their sweat-slick bodies. Hiei did not let him move at first, their chests heaving, breath mingling. Then he loosened his grip on Kurama's strands, and the heavier youko eased out and lay beside him, tail curving around Hiei's relaxed form.

  


All was silence, the two of them soaking up each other's presence.

  


"Hiei?" Kurama spoke hesitantly. "What happened, earlier?"

  


The youkai yawned, revealing sharp teeth and shifted closer. "When?"

  


"When you said 'my love for you.'"

  


"Oh. That." Hiei draped an arm around Kurama's chest, nails scraping his back. "Every time I was close to you, this . . . 'something else' bothered me."

  


A silver eyebrow raised. "And this 'something else' was love?"

  


"Yeah."

  


_My demon mate._ Kurama gave him a sloppy kiss, chuckling. "Oh Hiei, you could have asked me. I have watched the humans go through it all the time."

  


Hiei flushed a little. "Had to figure it out alone." Scarlet searched warm gold. "So, do you?"

  


_Go through it, you mean? My *silly* demon mate._ "I think I _figured it out_ a long time ago." He grinned against Hiei's lips. "But maybe I didn't know it."

  


"Love is such a primitive, carnal thing," Hiei snorted. "Ningens go through it so much because they just refuse to see it for what it is."

  


"If that's true," Kurama commented, "I wonder why so many youkai shy away from it."

  


"Flee is a better word."

  


The youko snickered, deft fingers teasing sensitive spots. "Yes . . . Love is a drug, though." He spread his tongue across one bare, damp shoulder. "The taste of your skin is a drug . . ."

  


Hiei pushed at him half-heartedly while tilting his head back at the same time. "Hooked already, are you?"

  


"I have been for ten years."

  


And all was silence – soft, damp, and warm.


	7. embracing gain, embracing loss

Chapter 7: Embracing Gain, Embracing Loss

  


all the illusion

all of the truth

all the confusion

all of the proof

all of the pleasures

all of the pain

all I am losing

all that I gain

I want it all

I want it all

all or nothing

–'all or nassing,' a gundam wing doujinshi

***

  


The skyscraper-like heights of Raizen's main tower loomed just beyond the empty field.

  


Kurama adjusted his satchel, flipping red hair off his neck. "Almost there, ne?" he said, tilting his head to cast a smile at Hiei.

  


The youkai stepped up beside him and trained his eyes on the distance. They had contacted the Formation using Kurama's cell phone and left before the officials could arrive, knowing that their part in the whole escapade was now over. Once Kurama had fully healed, they had set out for Yuusuke's place. Kurama had returned to his most comfortable form, and was in a merry mood. After a couple days of walking, they had finally reached their last destination.

  


"Hiei?"

  


Hiei blinked, focused on the ningen-youko before him. "Just thinking."

  


"About?" Kurama questioned, turning fully.

  


"About going back."

  


Kurama studied him, trying to figure out why he was so despondent. "Being like this changes you, doesn't it? Being out in this wild . . ." He angled his face to the sun that warmed him and brightened the violet sky. "You could forget the Ningenkai even existed."

  


"We could," Hiei murmured.

  


Kurama smiled up at the shining orb above. "Aa."

  


Smaller, powerful fingers wrapped around his own. Kurama looked down at the youkai who had appeared by his side. Scarlet eyes were serious. "But we will not. Not yet."

  


"Aa," Kurama answered again, tightening their embracing hands, feeling warmth and contentment fill his human heart. "Someday, perhaps." He inhaled a breath of thick Makai air and released it. "We should hurry toward the tower. Yuusuke's waiting for us."

  


Hiei nodded.

  


Yes, it was time to go back.

  


***

  


Daini hummed softly to herself as she scrubbed a plate with a soapy sponge. She stood at the almost emptied sink, apron wrapped around the stretch of her stomach.

  


Though she had never been one for washing dishes, it was just one of those chores that had to be done. Before Kurama and Hiei had left, the redhead had assisted in keeping the place clear; but with Kurama gone and Kit at work, Daini had to do it around her classes and schoolwork.

  


Her lips twitched in a small smile. Hiyaku helped most evenings, except when she waited too late, like tonight, and his favorite show came on.

  


She closed her eyes, the smile growing. "Hiyaku-chan," she called, "don't sit too close."

  


"Hai!" There were scuffing noises as the cub backed away from the television. On screen, the reporter was discussing the lack of activity outside their apartment.

  


Her smile faded. She was nearing the end of her last trimester and the temple amid the forest was still not completely ready to be moved into. Daini wanted to live in the place Kit had bought for them; even Hiyaku was eager to be back over grass and under trees, free to roam as he wished. A few more weeks . . . a few more weeks and it should be ready . . .

  


Daini wanted the children to be born in the house they would grow up in.

  


In the living room, Hiyaku giggled at the 'silly ningens' just outside.

  


Daini wanted Hiyaku to have a real home.

  


Daini wanted–

  


Pain flashed along her lower midsection, causing the girl to stumble forward in surprise. The plate slipped from her grasp and cracked as it hit the floor. She clung to the sink, struggling to control her breathing. _Too early. It's too early!_

  


She heard Hiyaku shout her name and turned to see him standing in the entryway. Bright blue eyes were wide. "Y-You okay?"

  


_No._ She straightened, still leaning against the cool sink for support. "I'm okay, sweets," she told him, forcing her voice to be steady. "Remember what we told you to do when the babies were ready to be born?"

  


He nodded hesitantly.

  


"Good. I need you to do that for me."

  


The cub tugged on one strand of silver hair. "Don't wanna leave you . . ."

  


"_Hiyaku_," she insisted.

  


He whimpered, but turned up his chin and raced out of the apartment.

  


Daini squeezed her eyes tightly shut, fighting back unwelcome tears. "I won't cry," she gritted. "I won't do s-such a thing." _I'm not scared; *I'm not scared*._

  


She stood there, too afraid to move, for twenty minutes, thirty minutes. She was not sure how long.

  


On screen, curious reporters were filming the little youko child returning with a sandy-haired young woman. 

  


Nakame burst through the door and shut it securely behind her. "Daini-chan?"

  


"In here," she responded, still gripping the sink like a vice.

  


Her friend ran to her side. "How are you?"

  


"Been better." Daini waved her away. "Call Toka-san."

  


"It's _time_?"

  


"I- I think so. Please, just- just call him. We need to get in touch with Shiori-san and- and Kurama-kun. He said he has some herbs that– " she pushed down her panic, "– that might numb the pain without hurting the children. And Kit! We've got to tell Kit!"

  


"Daini, calm down." Nakame tried to ease the girl into the living room, but she refused to let go of the sink.

  


"Call Kit first!" Daini told her. _If I let go, I'll fall._

  


Nakame grabbed the phone and punched in the number. "Moshi moshi? I need Kit. Yes, please." While she waited, Nakame peered over at the youko huddling alone and frightened. "Hiyaku-chan," she said gently. His head jerked up. "Would you get a blanket for your mama?"

  


He glanced at Daini. "H-Hai." And went upstairs.

  


Nakame turned her attention back to the phone as Kit came on the line. "It's Nakame. Now, don't panic, but we think Daini is starting to have contractions."

  


"WHAT?" came Kit's response.

  


Nakame winced and held the receiver away from her ear. "You should head on over. I'm going to call the doctor and– " She cut herself off, sighing. "He hung up."

  


Daini shivered. "Is it normal," she whispered, "to be this nervous?"

  


"I'm sure it is."

  


"I wish Kit was already here."

  


Nakame walked over and hugged the other girl. "Don't worry. I know Kit-kun will be here in time."

  


"Oh, he'd _better_." Daini managed a snort and wry grin. "I want to make sure I deafen his ears during labor."

  


They shared a strained laugh. Daini turned to stare out the window, willing her mate to return quickly._Please, please hurry, Kit._

  


Another slice of pain stabbed through her and Daini bit her lip. A moment later, her water broke and fluid rushed down her legs.

  


***

  


Yuusuke greeted them at the door, never one for formality. Despite his status as Raizen's Heir and lord over the surrounding area, the former Reikai Tantei had never bothered with bodyguards or an extensive network of servants. He was a handle-it-himself kind of man, a youkai who considered himself a human.

  


After what had happened at Bingski, Yuusuke left the towers less often than he used to. He was swamped with new treaties to sign and allies to form, and all of them needed to be completed before the new Makai Tournament next year. Which brought Yuusuke to yet something else to do: this time he wanted to enter the tournament. Sure, Enki would probably win (yet again), but Yuusuke had heard a rumor that Mukuro and Yomi – and even Yomi's son – were once more taking part in the contest. Yuusuke refused to let them have all the fun.

  


"Ho, guys," the brown-haired ruler called. "Come on in. You're just in time for dinner."

  


Hiei immediately blanched. "I would rather eat ningen food."

  


"I thought you hated . . ." Yuusuke trailed off, then burst into laughter. "No, no. Our shipments started up again after the rebels were scattered, so we have just about anything you might want."

  


There was a slight sigh of relief from both Kurama and Hiei.

  


"A hot bath would be nice," Kurama said hopefully.

  


Yuusuke grinned. "We can do that too."

  


Kurama tossed a pleased wink at the shorter youkai beside him. "Naa, Hiei? How about it?"

  


Hiei started to bite out a retort, however affirmative, but a beeping sound cut through his words.

  


Fishing through his pack, Kurama found his cell phone and answered it. A garbed voice burst out from the other end and Kurama's brow creased. "Okay . . . Nakame-chan, slow down and say all that again." His eyes widened as he listened. "When did it all begin? Hai, hai, I understand. It will take awhile to set up a portal. We'll be there in a few hours." He clicked it off and looked apologetically at Yuusuke. "Sorry, but our visit must be cut short. Daini's went into labor."

  


"So soon?" Yuusuke wondered. "I thought she wasn't due for another month!"

  


Hiei focused his scarlet eyes. "When?"

  


"About an hour ago," Kurama replied. "Nakame and Hiyaku are there with her, and Kit and the doctor are on their way. Yuusuke, can you find us a ride?"

  


Yuusuke scratched the back of his neck. "I wasn't planning on it so soon. But my portal-maker should be able to do it, if we can contact the Reikai first and get them to let you through the barrier."

  


"Then let's do that." Kurama flipped open his phone again. "I'll call Koenma while you look for the portal-maker. We need to return to the Ningenkai as soon as possible." He lowered his brows with worry. "Kit doesn't have all the seeds that I have and Toka-san can't use regular medications because of the twins. If something goes wrong and they don't have the right herbs . . ." Kurama let the unspoken conclusion hang in the suddenly chilly air.

  


"I think," Yuusuke said slowly, "that you two need to leave right now."

  


***

  


Daini smothered an outcry. "They're getting worse," she said, holding her rounded belly.

  


Nakame wrung out a washcloth and dabbed the cool relief against Daini's forehead. "It's all right," she tried to comfort. "Just hold on a little longer."

  


Shaking her head, Daini gripped the arm of the couch she lay on. "Too fast. Not supposed to happen this fast." _Kit, *where are you*?_ "What if something is wrong with the children?"

  


Nakame gave her a smile. "Women are made to handle this. It wouldn't be called labor if it wasn't difficult, right?"

  


"Right," Daini agreed weakly. Inside, she knew better.

  


The front door slammed as Kit entered, snarling at the reporters still filming outside. He ignored Hiyaku standing at the entrance to the living room and sought out his mate.

  


"Kit . . ." Daini murmured, relief washing over her.

  


The youko knelt by her side, placing one hand across her belly and one clasping her clammy fingers. He whispered softly to her so not even Hiyaku could hear, and then scooped her into his arms.

  


"Where are you going?" Nakame cried. "The doctor is coming _here._"

  


"Toka is going to our home," Kit said. "I spoke with him mere moments ago. And that is where I will take my wife." His face was hard, and Nakame did not protest when he brushed past and went out the front door.

  


Cameras flashed and reporters surrounded the two outside. Kit merely leapt over them and disappeared into the forest.

  


"We-we should go too," Hiyaku said, sounding very small.

  


On screen, bustling voices were discussing what might be going on, how suspicious this new activity was, how pale the dark-haired woman had looked.

  


Nakame moved and turned off the television.

  


***

  


The wind was chilly and Kit tried his best to block it with his ki. Daini shivered in his arms and clung to his neck, cheek pressed to his mint-scented chest. Her heart ached and she could feel his demon core beating rapidly.

  


"I'm sorry," she said quietly.

  


He cradled her tighter against him, eyes focused straight ahead. His jaw was hard as he clenched his teeth, and she knew he was more upset than he would ever show to her.

  


His voice came out strained, "I love you, you know that." He had said those words before, during another time he could not protect her.

  


"Yes." She whimpered when her stomach contracted, and told him that she loved him back.

  


"I am yours, you know that."

  


Yes, she said, she did. And she was his.

  


He pressed his lips to her hair, breathed in her natural fragrance. "I want to spend my life with you." A wet choke from him and Daini nearly lost it. "You know that . . ."

  


She could not reply.

  


They spoke no other words until they reached the temple nestled in the woods, the temple Kit had bought for them to raise their family within the aged walls.

  


Doctor Toka was waiting for them inside. He had already set up a futon and pillows in one of the bedrooms, along with blankets, towels, and his medical supplies. He instructed Kit to lay Daini on the futon as he washed his hands. Kit planted himself at Daini's side, holding one of her hands tensely.

  


Yukina had also came and was standing just beyond the door. She and Daini locked gazes for a few seconds, and the Koorime looked away first.

  


"Daini-san," Toka said, smiling at the girl. "Try to relax and remember your breathing techniques. The twins have a few hours more before they are ready."

  


She leaned back on the pillows. "Thank you . . ."

  


"Sleep, if you can."

  


Daini nodded, though the last thought on her mind was sleep. The youko beside her shifted, crossing his long legs, tail curling about him as he sat. She turned her attention to him and offered a smile that he did notreturn.

  


_//"Men and women have been doing this since the beginning of time."_

  


_"I am not a man."_

  


_"And our children are not mere humans either. You won't hurt them. You won't hurt me.__//_

  


Throughout the following hours, friends and family would slip in ever so often. Nakame ran errands, fetching water and such. Shiori came with flowers. Hiyaku stayed until his nervousness began affecting everyone and he had to be taken outside; he seemed to understand.

  


When Kurama and Hiei finally arrived, they quickly entered the temple. Yukina ushered them to the right room and shut the panel behind them.

  


Only Toka and Kit were there, and the doctor excused himself for some fresh air. Hiei hung back while Kurama went forward to Daini's side.

  


The redhead glanced at his counterpart and was surprised by the emotions raging across Kit's features. "I'll watch her if you want to get something to eat or stretch your legs," he said softly.

  


"No."

  


"Kit, I think you ought to–"

  


Kit snapped up fierce golden eyes. A light touch on his hand extinguished the yellow fire and he appeared to collect himself.

  


"It's all right," Daini murmured.

  


Kit hesitated, then nodded and rose to his feet. "I will return soon." And he left the room, giving Hiei a curt glance as salutation as he passed.

  


Hiei detached from the shadows and came to stand at the edge of the futon. "He is troubled."

  


"So I saw." Kurama presented the girl with a smile. "How are you? Kit's not being a bother, is he?"

  


"No, not at all," Daini assured. "I'm glad you could make it, both of you." She began to raise a hand, intending to touch Kurama's face, but her fingers trembled and she dropped her hand upon the covers.

  


Kurama frowned at that. _She's too weak to even lift her hand?_ "Daini-chan–"

  


"What do you think the children will look like?" she asked, her lips twitching as she imagined. "Silver hair? Black hair? Golden eyes?" She stared up at the ceiling. "I know Inari-san will make them beautiful . . ." Kurama did not answer; Hiei slowly moved from one foot to the other. Violet eyes shimmered as Daini took her gaze from the freshly-painted plaster above to the silent ningen-youko. "Kurama-kun, congratulations."

  


Kurama blinked. "Oh. How did you . . ."

  


"Shiori told me. A happy time for you and Hiei-san both."

  


The youkai scowled and crossed his arms, though he did not argue.

  


Kurama thanked her, feeling like she was avoiding the questions he wanted to ask. Daini's face suddenly tightened and sweat broke out across her brow.

  


"They- they're coming stronger and closer together now."

  


He nodded, gliding his hands into his hair to retrieve the appropriate seeds. With him he had brought a small bowl and a glass of warm water. He crushed the seeds and made a paste, then dissolved the gray substance into the liquid. "Drink this and it will help numb the pain." He slid an arm under her neck to raise her enough so she could drink; it took no effort as she was frighteningly light.

  


"Thanks," she murmured, her dark hair splaying over the pillow as she laid back, "for your help and your guidance. And your friendship."

  


Her words bothered Kurama; he did not comprehend why she was saying them. He set the glass where she could reach it. Excusing himself, he rose and left the room.

  


Hiei watched him leave, then fixed upon Daini.

  


She smiled minutely at the youkai. "I don't pretend to understand how lifeforces are traded," she said softly. Hiei seemed to be listening, so she continued, "or the chi powers that all of you possess . . . But I realize what is happening now, and I accept it."

  


Hiei snorted, turning his head away. "You are giving up."

  


"Kit said the same thing. I'm making a choice."

  


"A choice to– "

  


She shushed him, throwing a glance toward the door. "Someone may overhear you. Hiei-san, no, Hiei-_kun_, what I said to Kurama I also said to you." She grinned as he seemingly ignored her statement; he had heard and his silence meant he accepted. "Please don't let Kurama tell anyone just yet."

  


Scarlet eyes flickered once to the girl and then Hiei headed toward the entrance. He lifted one hand and reached to the edge of the light brown rice paper. "I will not say I agree with your choice," he said almost inaudibly, facing away, "but I realize why you made it."

  


He slid open the panel and Kit stood outside it. The two of them stared at each other and their thoughts were closer than they had ever been before. Kit stepped aside, letting Hiei pass, and then moved into the room.

  


Hiei remained in the hallway, listening to the whispered affections that were exchanged between them though he could not decipher the words.

  


Toka nodded at him as the doctor went by. Hiei paused a moment more, then went in search of Kurama and Yukina. It would not be much longer yet.

  


***

  


"Yukina-san, warm water, please."

  


The Koorime nodded and went to heat the pan of water for the doctor. When she returned, Toka soaked several towels, wrung them out, and spread them out around Daini. He patted the girl's raised knee. "It is almost time to push."

  


"O-okay."

  


Kit had scooted behind Daini, supporting her in a half-sitting position; she did not object, knowing he would have it no other way. The security of his arms soothed her, his warmth solid and strong, his lips whispering encouragement in her ear. But what he was thinking, feeling, she could not fathom. She felt little pain now because of Kurama's concoction, but the pressure was building and she tightly gripped Kit's forearms.

  


The actual birth took less than a half hour and without any major complications. The first twin emerged, crying at the top of his little lungs, and his sister followed soon after, making no noise at all.

  


Dr. Toka quickly wrapped them in dry towels and laid them in the arms of their parents. Kit and Daini were speechless as they stared at the newborn twins. The boy who cried so loudly was black-haired, while the girl possessed a shock of bright red hair. Both had deep golden eyes; both had no tails; both had miniature fox-like ears protruding from the tops of their heads.

  


Daini did not bother wiping her tears. "They're so tiny . . . so perfect . . ." She touched their daughter who calmly gazed up at them. "This one looks like a rose. Achene . . ." Then she touched her son who seemed to finally hush. "Little bits of us . . ."

  


Kit chewed his bottom lip, unable to say anything, and merely followed her fingers with his own as they traced every feature of the babies.

  


"Kit . . ." Her voice cracked. "They're beautiful, aren't they?"

  


The youko shuddered. _My mate, my bonded, even now you . . ._

  


"They need to be cleaned," Toka told them. "I will bring them back as soon as I check them, ne?" He took one of the twins, Yukina carried the other, and they went into the adjoining bathroom.

  


Kit was shaking, his face buried in Daini's hair. "Yes, yes they are," he said, answering her earlier question.

  


"Can- can I lay down?" was her quiet reply.

  


Immediately he eased out from under her and gently lowered her onto the futon. "Better?"

  


"More comfortable," she said, smiling. "But colder, without you."

  


He reached to pull a blanket over her, disregarding the mess left over from the births, and tucked it securely about her body. She looked frailer than usual . . . His broad hand covered one of hers; her skin felt icy.

  


"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

  


He brushed the damp hair from her face. "No apologies, remember? None are needed." He paused, listening to her slowing heart, and lowered his voice to a murmur. "Have I told you lately that I love you?"

  


Her smile nearly undid him. "Say it again."

  


"I love you."

  


"Mmm . . ." Violet was hidden behind dark lashes. "I could hear that a million times and never tire of it. I love you . . ."

  


_Inari, I pray._

  


"Daini, please open your eyes . . ."

  


_Do not take her._

  


Daini sighed. "I don't think I can. Weary . . . I've never been this weary before."

  


He stroked the smooth top of her hand with his thumb, and forced himself to keep talking. "I am still here. Do not be afraid. Botan . . ." he struggled to continue, "Botan is waiting for you. You will not be alone there . . . you are not alone here."

  


"I know," she breathed. "I haven't been for a long . . . time . . . because of you . . . Kit . . ."

  


He leaned down and kissed her, felt her exhale for the last time.

  


_Daini._

  


Silence.

  


Kit raised enough to hunch over her hand, enfolding her fingers against his chest.

  


***

  


A shock of cold ran through Kurama, causing him to stumble in his pace. He grasped the area over his heart. "What was that?"

  


Hiei's response was not what Kurama had expected. The youkai bent his head and muttered a simple prayer.

  


"Hiei . . ." Kurama, eyes large, searched for any sense of Daini and found none. "She's . . ." Leaving the demon, Kurama ran to the bedroom and flung open the entrance.

  


Kit was kneeling by Daini, face obscured by strands of silver hair. The youko made no movement or sound.

  


_Daini is . . ._ Kurama took a step closer, but Hiei suddenly appeared behind him and grabbed his sleeve.

  


"Don't," was all he said.

  


Kurama ignored him. "Kit," he said shakily. "What happened?"

  


Moments passed before there came a quiet reply. "She is . . . sleeping, only sleeping. But she will not wake again."

  


Somewhere nearby, a baby began to wail.

  


***

  


//"I'm sorry," she whispered. Her lip quivered and she choked back a sob. "Oh Kit, I'm so, so sorry . . ."

  


_What the hell– _Kit attempted a pitiful laugh, laying a long-nailed hand on her thin shoulder. "Oi, remember? No apologies."

  


She shoved away his tender gesture, jerking up violet eyes. "Just shut up and listen! Kit, _listen to me_. I- I- I_can't_, I can't go on like this anymore! There's something . . ." She fought back tears. "There's something very important that I have to t-tell you."

  


Golden eyes could do nothing but stare; fox-like ears could only listen helplessly. Fear, Kit saw in his mate's eyes. Fear and panic and . . . and a deep sorrow that he knew he could not conquer for her.

  


Daini took a deep, shaky breath.

  


"I've done as much research as I can, K-Kit, about ki and how it works. When- when a youkai gets pregnant, she generally begins to share her youki with her child and that's how- how the baby gains its own strength."

  


"Where are you going with this?" he questioned lowly.

  


She bit her lip, deeply enough that it bled. "Most humans don't have much ki . . ."

  


"So? Raizen bred with a ningen."

  


Daini looked ready to cry. "Yuusuke's ancestor was a witch and a very powerful one too." She swallowed bitterly. "Kit, I'm carrying half-kitsune twins and- and they need youki that I don't have to give them. Already I can feel it . . . When they are born, the last of my life will be drained and I . . . I . . . I'll die." She could not bear the pain that flared in his gaze and turned her head away.

  


"What?" he murmured, deep voice unsteady. "What did you say?"

  


"I'm going to die," she said slowly.

  


Her words began to sink into his mind, and the first emotion they triggered was anger. "And I am supposed to accept that?"

  


She looked back at him, startled by the fury she heard. "Kit–"

  


"No!" he cried. "_This_ is why you have been acting strange? _This_ is what you have been keeping from me? Inari above!"

  


"Kit, stop it," she begged. _I can't stand it. If he loses control, I won't be able to stand it._

  


"Stop it?" he echoed. "Stop trying to understand what you just told me?" His tone was fierce. "My mate has chosen to die!"

  


"I've chosen to let our children live!" she tried to argue. "I'm not strong enough to give them what they need except my own life. Kit, I'm not like you. I'm not _strong_."

  


"Not . . ." His eyes narrowed dangerously. "Not strong!" Grasping her arms, he dragged her off the futon and forced her across the room. She yelled and struggled, but he was a block of concrete and he made her stand in front of the full-length mirror in the bathroom.

  


"Look," he demanded, crossing her arms over her chest and trapping her against his body so she could not run.

  


"Please, Kit . . ."

  


"Dammit, _look_!"

  


As she opened her eyes, tears were released and spilled down her cheeks. She stared at their reflections, both of them still unclothed and sticky from their attentions earlier. She saw the bags under her eyes, the curve of her belly, the thinness of her limbs; she saw his sleek muscles and thick, flowing hair, the desperate way he looked at her now.

  


"What do you see?" he insisted.

  


She continued to cry silently. "I see my husband, strong and resilient. I see myself, unable to do anything but fade away." She knew her answer would anger him, and his hands on her arms tightened enough to bruise. She didn't care. She just wanted to be near him.

  


"So you are just giving up?"

  


"What else can I do?" she implored. "I'm a ningen – you can't give me energy. It's _my_ life that our children need and . . . and . . ."

  


"Oh, Inari . . ." His voice broke. She saw him bend and hide his face on her bare shoulder, his tail limp and trailing on the ground. "Why? Why you?"

  


It was not a question she could answer.

  


Kit's legs gave out beneath him and they both collapsed to the wooden floor. Daini trembled and he enfolded her in his arms; they clung to each other.

  


"Do not leave me . . ."

  


She let loose a sob; he sounded so lost. "I-I'm not dead yet."

  


He raised his head and his face was damp. "Who knows of this?" he asked quietly.

  


"Only Yukina. She's . . . the one who told me. She said you can't tell if you're not- not looking for it." She cupped his cheeks. "Please don't tell anyone. I- I couldn't bear their pity."

  


He pressed his lips to her palm. "Then I will not."

  


"And- and promise me that you'll live on."

  


"Daini–" he began almost in a panic.

  


She hugged him desperately. "Promise me! For yourself, for the children. L-Live on, Kit!"

  


He was trembling, unable to stop. Instead of answering verbally, he kissed her, their moist cheeks touching.

  


_Only for you would I promise this._

  


No other words could be exchanged; there would be more time for talk later. Kit lowered himself onto her, breathing in her familiar, loving scent, and attempted to vanquish the future from both their minds.

  


_Only for you._//

  


***

  


The funeral came and went.

  


The twins were being kept at Shiori's house due to the swarms of reporters that hovered at the apartment. News of the death spread rapidly and while many strangers showed up to pay their respects, only certain friends and family were allowed close.

  


Burying Daini in the ground seemed to finalize the fact that she was indeed gone . . .

  


That night, Kit traveled to the acre of land nestled among the towering trees, to the temple surrounded by a gate entangled in vines. It was the place they were supposed to have lived, raised their family, for years to come. Kit walked through the main corridor, glancing around him, his eyes hazy. Why? Why _her_? Had they not gone through enough?

  


Another two weeks and they could have moved in.

  


The youko snarled, fangs flashing as he gripped the side of a table and flipped it, sending it crashing down the hall.

  


"A curse on your name, Inari!" he shouted, his voice loud, cracking, echoing throughout the empty temple. "I curse you! And you – Prince of the Dead! I curse you _both_!"

  


Her death . . . _His mate_ . . .

  


He overturned a lamp; the bulb shattered. His feet crunched in the broken glass but he did not care. Down the hall he went, smashing whatever he could find, scattering books, even tearing pictures from the walls. Nothing was left unaffected.

  


Kurama stood in the shadows, watching sadly. "Kit . . ."

  


His counterpart halted, breathing heavily, not bothering to turn. "Pity me, will you?" he muttered.

  


"No," Kurama said evenly.

  


"Then leave me be."

  


Kurama sighed, washing the other in his rose-fox scent; Kit moved away and out of it. "You shouldn't be alone."

  


"I want to be."

  


"Kit–"

  


The youko rounded on him, eyes blazing. "I said – leave me be!"

  


Kurama acquiesced, holding up his hands as he melded back into the night. _I'm sorry, my brother._

  


***

  


Small, strong arms were waiting for him in the seclusion of their bedroom. Kurama slid willing into them in a flurry of perfumed scarlet hair.

  


"He's gone. I think I know where."

  


"Will you follow?" Hiei asked.

  


Pause. What purpose would it serve to go see Koenma? Such a death had been natural or else they would have heard otherwise. "No."

  


They lapsed into silence. Hiei rubbed absent circles across Kurama's back.

  


But Kurama was not ready to be quiet. "What are you thinking about?"

  


Hiei took a moment to answer. "Our future," he finally said.

  


The redhead tried to shift closer. "I have been, too, the last few days. I think about our future and . . . I don't want to rush but . . ." He dug his teeth into his lip. "Should we continue our bonding?"

  


"Before something happens, you mean?"

  


Kurama levered himself on his elbows, peering into the youkai's oval eyes. "Yes."

  


"Maybe," Hiei answered truthfully. "But we cannot live wondering what may happen."

  


Kurama kissed him, then rested his chin on Hiei's chest. "I would wait till another lifetime, if need be."

  


"You will not have to."

  


Kurama folded his mouth upward in a small smile but it withered swiftly. He listened to Hiei breathe in and out, felt his chest expand and lower with each intake of air. He would get little rest tonight . . . and tomorrow they would wake to an empty apartment.

  


His vision glazed over. "Daini-chan . . ." he whimpered.

  


Hiei tightened his embrace, tenor low and gruff yet attempting comfort. "Hush, kitsune, and mourn silently. There are other voices that need to be heard tonight."

  


A hesitant knock sounded on their door and Hiyaku cracked it open.

  


Tiny shoulders were shaking. "I- I din't know where else . . ." He wrung his little hands, wrapped his tail protectively round his ankles. "Where else to go . . ."

  


Hiei and Kurama shared a glance.

  


"Come here," Kurama said gently and reached for the youko child.

  


Hiyaku dove between them, enveloped in their warmth and surrounding presence. Old enough to understand, he knew his surrogate mother was gone forever; young enough to not care, he wept openly.

  


Kit was not seen again until months had passed, but a low, mournful cry kept many awake that night, and no one could tell where it came from.

  
  


Epilogue

  


in three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on

– robert frost

***

  


_Many years later..._

  


***

  


It had rained earlier that day. The moisture clung to the new green leaves, dripping onto the shiny grass that covered the small mounds of earth arranged in rows. Overhead the sun was beginning to emerge, breaking apart the clouds and casting light across the cemetery.

  


Most of the visitors had already left before the first sunset colors began to appear. There was a fresh grave, flowers piled high on and around the wet earth, and at its edge stood a silver-haired creature. He wore normal mourning clothes – a black suit and tie, black shoes – that seemed odd on his otherworldly form. His head was bowed in revered silence.

  


The last visitors paid their respects to the youko and then he was alone.

  


A brisk wind stirred and tossed long strands over his shoulders, framing clear golden eyes trained on the casket. He found he had no words to say to the body lying within the wooden box; it was himself, after all. He would think it too strange to shed tears at his own funeral.

  


The sun was setting quickly and deep shadows were cast beneath the trees and the gate surrounding the plot of land. A glint of silver flashed among the dark patches, moving closer to the prone youko.

  


Without raising his head, he said, "I was wondering when you would come."

  


"I almost did not," came a new voice, nearly the same as the first but with enough distinguishing trademarks to separate them. The owner of the voice detached from the shadows, revealing an almost identical youko garbed all in white robes. "Hiyaku related to me that you seemed 'a bit down,' as he put it, when he visited earlier. I came to see." He moved closer, stopping beside the other who did not answer. For a moment he merely studied the name engraved on the marker. "Minamino Shuiichi . . ." he mused.

  


"Kit," Kurama said suddenly, twisting to face his counterpart. "I really don't–" The upset retort died on his lips when he sensed the amused affection coming from Kit. "You're teasing me."

  


A silver eyebrow lifted. "By merely saying your ningen name?"

  


Kurama sighed. "I expected you to chide me for moping like I am."

  


Kit bared his teeth, grinning. "I will leave that to Hiei. I simply came to share your . . . melancholiness. Oh, do not look so surprised. I was never as detached from Shuiichi as some many have thought."

  


"'Daini will make a ningen of me yet.'" Kurama murmured, mindful that Kit's grin faded. "You said that to me once."

  


"A long time ago."

  


"Yes." Kurama tilted his head, long hair fraying at the ends. "Sometimes those days seem so recent. How long has it been? Forty-five years? Fifty?"

  


"Fifty-two years," Kit said quietly, "since her death."

  


_Her death._ Hearing his brother actually say those words aloud gave Kurama the avenue he had been searching for. Despite the many years, Kit had never been open to speaking about the mate he had lost.

  


"You know," Kurama said gently. "When kaasan passed away, I was afraid I couldn't move on, but I did. And then Shuu-chan was killed in the car wreck. Still, I moved on. Then Keiko and Kuwabara, and several others in the families of our friends . . . Time keeps going and we move on." He plunged ahead, "But you haven't."

  


Kit narrowed his eyes, the reaction Kurama had expected. "And you would behave any different if your beloved died?" Somewhere in the trees above, youki flickered.

  


"Yes," Kurama said after consideration. "Hiei wouldn't want me to mourn for so long."

  


Instead of becoming angrier, Kit let the heat building inside him to calm. "Even now her death is too much," he admitted, "and it was worse then."

  


"I know. You disappeared for three months, and no one knew where you were."

  


Kit curled his tail round his thighs, the pain and regret evident in his fair features. "I could not stay . . . in that house, anywhere near where she had once been. During her funeral, people did not know whether to congratulate me or tell me they sympathized with my loss." He tried a wry smile yet it fell apart. "So I fled. And each time a year reached the anniversary, I fled again."

  


"For ten years."

  


"Yes." He tucked long-fingered hands into the pockets of his white attire, and turned away. "Sometimes I wondered . . . should I blame Daini for what happened? Should I blame myself for being so blind, or the children for unwittingly taking her life? That is what I feared answering."

  


Kit studied him. "You found your answer."

  


"Yes," Kit said again with a spark of humor that Kurama could not decipher. He swung back around to look at the fresh grave. "Kurama, you can still shift to your ningen form, can't you?"

  


Kurama blinked, then nodded.

  


"Then Shuiichi is not completely dead, is he? Who _was_ Minamino Shuiichi but your ningen identity?"

  


"He was more than that . . ." Kurama stammered.

  


"Precisely." Startling the other youko, Kit reached out a hand and tapped him on his nose. "He was a part of you. His physical form may be inside that coffin, but you still have his image and memory and the . . . bits of you inside that _are_ him." Kit curled his hand under his chin, eyes shimmering slightly. "And the bits that broke off in me." Golden met golden. "He will always possess a section of your core and, in that, he can never fully die."

  


Kurama stared at his counterpart, reading many levels into those softly-spoken words. _Are we talking completely about Shuiichi here?_ "You're right," he whispered. "None of them will ever completely die."

  


Kit held his gaze a moment longer, then looked away. "I would like to visit the other graves as well. Join me?"

  


They said their farewells to the redheaded man underneath the wooden lid, and walked side by side through the small graveyard. Even so often Kit would pause at a grave and say a few quiet phrases. Hatanaka Kazuya, Hatanaka Shuiichi, Hatanaka Shiori. Separated from the others, in a corner of the stone wall, they stopped before the oldest grave of all.

  


"Daini . . ." Kit whimpered back in his throat. He crouched on his haunches and lightly caressed the lone neglected plant adorning her grave; the deadened leaves came alive, shaking off their brown hues and arching toward the youko's fingers. Kit breathed a sigh and held up his hand to examine the thin, woven band on his ring finger. "Daini was buried with hers . . ." He glanced about the area, frowning. "This place is too exposed."

  


"Aa," Kurama agreed. "It would've been plundered years ago in the Makai."

  


They shared a long gaze, their minds on equal lines of thought. Could they really . . ?

  


"Well," Kurama said, shrugging, "it won't be the first strange thing the humans have seen."

  


"And certainly not the last." Kit again stretched out his hand, this time toward the damp earth. His ring, the simple ring that had symbolized their union, stirred for the first time since it had been crafted. The thin vines disentangled themselves, letting go of Kit's finger and landing noiselessly on the ground. Immediately the tiny plant buried itself and vanished.

  


As Kit straightened, Kurama asked, "What kind of plant is it?"

  


"You will see," was the reply, and a touch of mischievousness. "Help me?"

  


"Of course."

  


They did not have to move, for controlling the plants in the area was a simple matter for a pair of five-tailed youko. They merely concentrated and watched as the entire plot of land became an encased garden.

  


Above Daini's headstone, a wild vine covered the wall. Kit smiled minutely; it was his reborn ring. At the last second, a small bud emerged from within the center.

  


Kurama gasped, wide-eyed. "But how? I thought you . . ."

  


"Could not manipulate roses?" Kit finished for him. He walked over to the flower and caressed its rounded bud. "I still cannot. I created this species myself, as something to use to make our rings. But the little sneak surprised me." Using his nail, he gently tickled the bud until it exploded in a blossom of velvety petals. The rose was violet. "It blooms its brightest during the height of winter," he added fondly.

  


"Amazing," Kurama breathed.

  


Kit tenderly patted the flower, then whispered parting words to the grave and followed Kurama to the gate. "The sun is almost gone. I should be leaving."

  


"I'm glad you came."

  


Kit grinned. "You knew I would. With inter-world trading beginning to form – under Koenma's strict rules, of course – finding a reliable portal-maker is much easier."

  


"Back to the Makai, then?" Kurama supposed.

  


"For now . . . Achene is waiting for me to give her away to Inari." The youko snorted. "It was her choice to go through with the ceremony, and she insists that I have to participate, but there is no way in hell that I am going to send her into servitude without complaining about it first."

  


Kurama tossed his head, laughing. "At least she doesn't have to remain celibate."

  


Kit grumbled something about how that was not inherently good either. "And you? Where will you go?"

  


"Not sure." Nearby, the branches of a tree rustled as someone shifted upon them. The deliberate noise brought a smile to his lips. "There are still people we are close to here in the Ningenkai, such as Shuu-chan's children and Yukina and her family. In the future we may decide differently."

  


Kurama opened the gate and stepped halfway through it as Kit stopped just inside the cemetery. "Really, brother, visit more often."

  


"I might have," Kit said, a hint of a growl in his voice, "if that youkai watching us had cared enough to come down to greet me."

  


Kurama briefly turned his smile to the tree. "He deals with death his own way. I'm sure Hiyaku would appreciate you coming, and your son would too."

  


"Fine, fine, as long as that damnable reporter leaves me be."

  


"Shelta-san still asks about you."

  


"See!" Kit crossed lithe arms and turned away. "I will visit after the ceremony. So until then."

  


Kurama nodded. "Until then." But when the other began to leave, he quickly called, "Wait." Kit paused, facing the other way. "I took it upon myself to talk to Koenma after Shuiichi died, to find out a direct answer to the question you must be wanting to ask. Kit, she's up for reincarnation."

  


He missed whatever expression crossed Kit's face. The youko held up two fingers in farewell and continued walking into the garden encasing the cemetery. Kurama stood there and watched, trying to understand. Perhaps he would eventually, at a time when things began to once again settle down and the spirit who had separated from him so long ago found the peace he was searching for.

  


Hiei dropped down to Kurama's side and took his hand. "You meddle too much."

  


Kurama grinned brilliantly. "Think so?"

  


Rolling his eyes, Hiei tugged his mate in the direction that would lead to the apartment they had shared for over sixty years. Some people never changed . . . not that Hiei minded . . .

  


Alone, Kit strode to the grave with the violet rose hanging above it. A breeze stirred up and he absently raised a hand to prevent silver strands from blocking his vision. The corners of his mouth were tilted upward.

  


"I know," he murmured aloud, eyes warming. "I have for a long time."

  


He pressed slender fingers to his lips, then touched the pads to the grave marker's cool surface. It was not a proper goodbye in any sense of the word, but it was enough and Kit could move on.

  


Taking a final, lingering look, the youko melded into the falling darkness, heading toward the full moon shining brightly just above the horizon.

  
  


*owari*

  
  


Arishia's notes: I could give you a long, detailed explanation of "why," but... I'm not. I don't think my decision to kill off Daini needs any explanations, mostly because I can't come up with any good ones. To put it simply, it had to happen this way, whether you or I understand it or not.

  


Many thanks to Mom for suffering through endless questionnaires about pregnancy/labor/birth. I thought she was a good resource - she's had two kids, after all.

  


And now for a few notes about the last chapter/epilogue, just because...

  


Chapter 7: "Inari, I pray... do not take her" is what Kit is thinking as Daini dies. I puzzled over this myself for awhile, but I think it basically means that Kit linked the birth of youko twins to Inari, god of all youko, and therefore felt that Inari had something to do with her death. ::shrug:: I guess.

  


Epilogue:

  


1. Some of what Kit and Kurama discussed will be covered in the next fic in the series (the last one, I promise!) called "Melancholy's Children." Such as A) what Kit did during the three months after the twins' births/Daini's death, B) Kit's answer to who should be blamed, and C) the events leading up to Kit's daughter entering Inari's circle of personal servants.

  


2. About the whole reincarnation bit: Reincarnation plays a large role in YYH, and it's not a topic I think should be dismissed when dealing with death in a YYH fanfic. I firmly believe that when – if – Daini is reincarnated, that she would eventually retain the memories of her past life. Whether or not she *is* actually reincarnated doesn't really matter, because I don't plan to ever write a fic that far into the future.

  


For those who'd like to continue our little saga:

  


"Melancholy's Children" - 4th fic in 'After Faded Light.' Two children set out to find the Sachi Stone they have heard so much about, hoping that it will bring happiness back to their father. But what starts out as a quick trip into the Makai will turn into an adventure that will affect their lives forever. *coming soon*

  
  


Ta ta! Comments of all kinds appreciated. ^^

  



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